Real News: First headless man cloned!
Puerto Rico, U.S. Today a very dumb man named Crandell Arfinkle has successfully cloned a headless man. Using his own DNA he created an exact duplicate of himself with a few adhancements like the clone has eight hearts, 14 lungs, 83 kidneys eight arms and eight legs,except the matter of no head. He later said, " I have always wanted extra body parts and now I can smoke and drink alcohol whenever and however I want." This man is a loon.
Classic Newsletter
original airdate 02/08/98
The Shinibnib,
A New generation in cars'
Today in a News conference, Alba Sunuie has introduced his new line of Cars, The Shinibnib Weasel luxury Wagon, which can fit a whopping 1.23 people. He has also anouced the upcoming car the Shinibnib Sloth, Which will have a whopping V47 engine, which because of it's large Engine and minescule body it can get up to a whopping speed of 4.6859 mph. The price of this beaut is 480,000,000 smackers, Everyone who buys one of these fabo cars in the next five minutes will receive a Retarded Antelope. What a Whoppin'DEAL. Monkey's come but once a year, so buy a Shinibnib.
Great Things in American History
cloned headless man
Well as I am sure everyone
has heard by now, In offshore news today the very first headless man for
spare organs was cloned in Puerto Rico. Well I think this is very
dumb, don't you think that a robot would be better we could use them to
fight in our wars and kill wild rabies infested donkeys, I really think
we need robots like I ............... um hehehehehehe nevermind.
Commy Chat w/ fidel Castro
the Happy Song
Well I have written a little song for a certain jerk named HENRY KING! and it goes something like this ehhm a 1 and a 2 and a 3.. OOOHHHHHH I hate Henry King, I really hate Henry, I really really really hate Henry. That is all I have right now, what do you think? Well I don't care what you think because in 4 weeks I will be out of this dump and go back to cuba HA!
Henry's Thought's
OK I give up I know that you hate me fidel but your column brings in the most money and is the most popular, and if you leave I will lose the most senior of my senior staff and then what will I have, PLEEEEAAAAsSSSEEEE stay.
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