Real News: LNN trouble

          Oregon City, OR.  Today our great leader Henry King was served with papers from 18 lawyers that say that he is to report to court tomorrow because he is being sued by some guy named Ron Stephens, this might mean that Henry will have to give up the newsletter.  We spoke to this Ron Stephens and He had this to say, "This Newsletter is mine, I created it and I want it back, and Henry I am not afraid of whatever dirt you have on me anymore, anyway I already was in rehab.......oops said too much."  Anyway there is no way this RON STEPHENS will get his hands on it, and I will kill  anyone who tries, that's right you heard me right.
 

Baptist Theory
"Not Bloody Likely"

         I suppose you have heard by now that Ron Stevens and Herman Golly have started their attempt to takeover the newsletter yet again, and well I'm not for it, yes Ron put me to work, and Herman and I worked together to destroy Ognox Pinnywise, but Henry helped me get rid of those Chinese and put me back to work after Ron said "No More" and yet those hippy's are just around the......WAIT did you hear something........Oh no it's those hippy's I will get them all yes I will hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!

Great Things in American History
The Lawyer

         Today we will be talking about the Lawyer.  The lawyer was created to swindle innocent people out of there money, god if were a real person I would......Ah Oh hehehe.

Ads
" So Very Very Very Old Ads for the last season and some very new ones it is sickening"

Wanted:  6-8 Mexicans for Engines                     Happy Announcement:
in the recently formed Shinibart Co.                     Ron Stevens, former owner
We will pay up to $0.10 a Year and                     of LNN has just purchased
if you can reach it (hehehehe not likely)                 Shinibart Motor Company
you can eat the Gordita that is in the                      and is now hiring for:
Radiator, also needed one wirey Chi-                   Chinese for Batteries, Mex-
nese or Vietnamese for a battery.                          icans and Vietnamese for
                                                                           Engines and more much
Announcement:  Buy Brian Sunshine                     just contact him at 564-884
radio station tapes at                                            7466-9947.
225 Rathbun Rd
Sutherlin OR.97470

Big Announcement: The 5 season                          Movie Annoucement:
of the Pinchy-Norris Newsletter will                     Wally Kuneegan will be
be the final season and the Series                           starring in the upcoming
Finale will blow your minds then a movie               Recieved the movie
6 chapter book will be published with                  about a desk and a pencil
Part Two of the series finale will be  t                    his movie should gross
published in the final 2 chapters.  The                    about $10 in the first month
Books name is PNN/LNN behind                        and watch this movie
closed doors.  This story will be publ-                   out next week.
ished November 29, 2000.   out next week.

Wanted : Used Brain for Large Head, will pay cash up front contact Joe Maimone 459-9176.  Submitted by Jim Maimone

Annoucement: Was in a life time does an offer like this surface.  You can now purchase stocks in the wonderfully happy company of Lee Norris Newsletter & Shinibart Co.  The only price is that you sell your soul to me Ron Stevens HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

Commy Chat w/ fidel Castro
Series Finale
" Finally "

         Well I am so very happy to tell you that this is  the final day of my one half year contract and I do not plan on coming back, and I have also been called back to presidency of the conflict between Cuba and Panama over that big canal that they have and we want in our country, and I hope Ron Stevens get the Newsletter back HENRY! Dom-" Hey fidel we will all miss you and we thought you deserved a Goodbye party, " What are you talking about Dom I don't even like you!  Dom-" Well we can Change that can't we!" Shut Up,  oh great and here comes the rest along with Henry, JOY!  Henry-" Even with your bitter hatred of me fidel I will still miss..............."RON & HERMAN What Are doing here?  And what are the cops here For?  Ron-"Well the cops are here because Henry Hasn't been paying his water bill and that means the Company belongs to us now!" GOOD news finally.  Henry-" You do realize that I will now reveal why I got the Newsletter anyway" ,Ron-" go ahe...........What the HECK! " Wait who are you in the dark, Oh My He has a gun Ron get out of the....................
Bang, Bang,......BANG!
Leann-Oh My Lord They just oh my Gosh diddly Osh he just killed!

To Be Continued.....