Real News:Could your Brain be Shrinking?
Crisco, NSHB. A Scientist by the name of R. Are Arefield discovered that if you tilt your head to the left at any time, it could cause your brain to begin the shrinking process. Also talking on the phone could make this condition worse, oh course this is just speculation and nonsense. Dr. Arefield said that it is best to keep from doing anything, which will keep it from shrinking. Funding for this project was taken out of Old peoples Social Security.
Encore Presentation
Series Premiere
Christian Theory
Hello and welcome to
Christian Theory, my name is James Christiansen, my column is replacing
Herman Golly's.
Our first opinion is about the asians, My belief is that when god created
humans, that asians were the mess ups, because if their squinty eyes, and
white skin. I believe that if they weren't such outcasts then they
would be humans. They also could read the bible better if they didn't
have those squinty eyes ohh they freak me out.
Great Things in American History
The Band-Aid
"The next Two columns are completely True"
Band-Aids were created
by some guy, oh course not a women, jeesh. Anyway they were created
to keep dirt and germs out of Injuries and flesh wounds. Yes I am
telling the Truth, I'm serious, What, are you calling me a lier, really,
Would you like to take this outside? Well fine then, and then the U.S.stole
the design of course.
Commy Chat w/ fidel Castro
Well I suppose that
I will actually write someithing instead of " I Hate Henry King ", although
I still hate Henry, anyway it seem that my country may go to war with Panama
over their precious Canal, you know it really isn't fair that the United
States of Crap chose to build the canal in Panama instead of Cuba, it just
isn't fair.
Problem In Pinchy-Norris Newsletter
Everyone's favorite
25% share-holder the great Bobot Lee Pinchy has contracted a rare disease
known as scabies and now is in critical condition at University Dental
and Veterinary College. We do hope that Mr. Pinchy does pull out
of his rare condition and oh course survives his toe transplant.
Ads
Wanted: 6-8 Mexicans for Engines
Happy Announcement:
in the recently formed Shinibart Co.
If you think Sunshine Radio
We will pay up to $0.10 a Year and
stations happy return was J.
if you can reach it (hehehehe not likely)
you haven't seen nothing yet
you can eat the Gordita that is in the
Sunnyside insane Asylum is
Radiator, also needed one wirey Chi-
back again thanks to Pinchy
nese or Vietnamese for a battery.
Norris Newsletter, and we
have a special rate two
Announcement: Buy Brian Sunshine
rooms for one isn't that
radio station tapes at 225 Rathbun Rd
great!
Sutherlin OR. 97470
Big Announcement: The 6th season
For sale: One big dump-
of the Pinchy-Norris Newsletter will
ster behind Safeway in the
be the final season and the Series
happy southern Roseburg.
Finale will blow your minds then a The
the last resident struck
6 chapter book will be published with
it rich when he found an oil
Part Two of the series finale will be
pond. This spacious trash
published in the final 2 chapters. The
has no plumming and only
Books name is PNN/LNN behind
one room, asking 20 million
closed doors. This story will be publ-
dollars if interested contact
ished November 29, 2000.
PNN Headquarters in OregonCity.
This ad is outdated and the Newsletter
Doesn't end this way.