Previously in the Pinchy-Norris Newsletter-who the heck are you in the dark? mysterious voice "Well I guess I will reveal who I am to everyone and possibly my evil plan...............My name is..........Henry King."  Wait a minute you were killed reporting on the Chicken/Australian War in 1997,.........when I was mashed under the Australians I was hurt very badly and I when I woke up I was in a hospital and I found out that It was Herman sent me their to get rid of me. "........I have blackmailed Ron Stevens out of his controlling shares of Pinchy-Norris and Now own the newsletter, what do you have to say about that Herman?"

We're Back

          Yes after the last season, no one thought that we would come back, even the publisher was telling everyone that we would not be back but now that we have the new publishing company, Zippy Lou Pro. we have come back for at least one more season.  This season is completely different from the last, we have a new owner Henry King and everything is great.  Although over the last 3 months Herman Golly has tried to bring Henry down but he cannot.  This is my first year here so I am a little nervous but I plan on staying as long as possible.

Baptist Theory
Series Premiere

         Well hello and welcome to the newly formed Baptist Theory with me the former host of Christian Theory, James Christiansen.  Everyone thought that I was dead after I opened a soda pop can and the roof of my secret bunker killing the chinese in it.  But I did not die, no sirree bob.  You all may wonder why I am hosting Baptist Theory instead of Christian Theory, well I have converted to Baptist because I have realized something, I shouldn't blame the chinese for everything because it is not their faults that my life sucks,  It's because of those Hippy's that my life sucks, well I am running out of time so I will return to bashing hippy's in my next Column.
 

Great Things in American History
The Joy of Forks

         Well I think I will start by telling the history of the fork.  The ancient Aztec people always loved to eat noodles and cat lungs but their utensols that they used could not hold the noodles, so they devised a tool with sharp ends and openimgs in between the sharp ends.  So after the Spaniards conquered the Aztec and when the United States patent office formed we patented the fork and everyone had to buy the forks from the U.S.  Thank You and I look forward to everyone reading this more.
 

Commy Chat w/ fidel Castro

         Yes fidel is back!  I signed with Herman Golly to come back for one more season, unfortunately that bloody Henry King stole the Newsletter from Herman and I am stuck until the end of this season.  I guess I shall live with it.  I do not wish to talk so cransit long so I will stop here.
 

Real News: Crackers can kill Chickens

 St. Louis, Missouri,  Today in a test on the effects of Crackers on different animals Professor Ivan Humpfrey Bob has discovered that if a regular Chicken eats a salted cracker the chicken will explode.  The state has funded this project by taking $1,000,000 out of the $10,000,000 that goes to the discovery of the cure to keep bugs off of plants.  Boy I wish we had this when the Chicken Empires were out.
 

Ads

Wanted:  6-8 Mexicans for Engines                 Happy Announcement:
in the recently formed Shinibart Co.                 "Yes you are right!" Joe is
We will pay up to $0.10 a Year and                 back to the Sunshine Radio
if you can reach it (hehehehe not likely)             Station, and welcomes you
you can eat the Gordita that is in the                  to celebrate.  If you wish to
Radiator, also needed one wirey Chi-               buy a Sunshine radio tape
nese or Vietnamese for a battery.                      then send $0.50 to 225
                                                                       Rathbun Rd, sutherlin and
                                                                       keep those chins up.
                                                                      we at PNN do not endorse Bryan Co.
 

Movie Announcement: The movie                      Huge Announcement:
rumored to be out is now out only                      Henry the Hobo struck it
in Redmond.  This great movie is                        rich this week behind Safe-
Call Me..Uncie Max, the truth life                      way.  A five billion dollar
story of Max Mills.  This action-                          oil pond has been found by
packed movie stars-Robert Lousia as                 Henry's dumpster.  When
Max, The Rock and Jane Seymore as                 we inquired about what he
Steve and Gail Maimone, and Kather-                 was going to do with his
ine Hepburn as Lee Baggot I urge                       his money he said " I am
everyone to watch this movie                              going to get drunk."