Floor tiles, if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years. Bank Accounts, without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest. Blenders, you need one, but you're not quite sure why. Chocolate Bars, sweet, smooth and they usually head right to your hips. Coffee, the best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night. Commercials, you can't believe a word they say. Computers, hard to figure out and never enough memory. Coolers, load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. Copiers, you need them for reproducing, but that's about it. Curling Irons, they're always hot and always in your hair. Cement, after getting laid they take a long time to get hard. Government Bonds, they take a long time to mature. High Heels, They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it. Horoscopes, they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong. Lava Lamps, fun to look at but not all that bright. Mascara, they usually run at the first sight of emotion. Parking Spots, the good ones are taken and the ones that are left are hadicapped or extremely small. Popcorn, they satisfy you, but only for a little while. Place Mats, they only show up when there's food on the table. Snow Storms, you never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long they will last. Used Cars, both are easy-to-get, cheap and unreliable. Bank Machines, once they withdraw, they lose interest. Bananas, the older they get, the less firm they are. Puppies, they're cute at first, but pretty soon you get tired of cleaning up their crap. Crystal, some look real good, but you can still see right through them. Dry Cleaners, most work fast and leave no ring. Laxatives, they irritate the crap out of you!

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