“JC, I’m home.” Justin yelled, dropping his gym bag on the floor just inside the entryway. “Where are you, C?” He called when there was no response from his boyfriend.

Justin headed toward the living room to look for JC, but stopped abruptly when he heard clattering coming from the direction of the kitchen. “Oh shit.” He muttered, moving toward the commotion.

Justin braced himself outside the kitchen door. He took a deep breath and prepared for the worst as JC began spewing epithets that would put a sailor to shame. Pissed off swearing JC is sexy, but not when he’s creating chaos that Justin is sure to have to clean up.

“What are you doing, JC? I mean besides turning my kitchen into something that the governor would declare a state of emergency?” Justin snarled, as he poked his head in the doorway and saw a piece of his Jack La Lanne juicer hit the wall. “Hey stop it! Do you know how much that thing cost?” Justin growled, yanking what was left of the juicer out of JC’s hands.

“Well it certainly isn’t worth whatever you paid for it. The stupid thing doesn’t even chop tomatoes it just pulverizes them.” JC huffed, as he turned frowning at Justin.

Justin gaped. He looked from JC down to the juicer in his hands and back up at his boyfriend. “Hello, JC. This is a juicer. It juices. It doesn’t chop. Which is probably why it’s called a JUICER!”

JC rolled his eyes and turned away from Justin and back to his... well whatever it was he was attempting to make because Justin sure didn’t know what in the hell it was.

Justin frowned when JC began poking around his other precious kitchen appliances. Something caught his eye though as he was about to tell JC to get his hands off of the 525-watt KitchenAidƒ‡ stand mixer. JC was not wearing an apron, or any other article of clothing. His boyfriend was in the kitchen attempting to cook and he was stark naked. Justin didn’t know whether to laugh, reach for the telephone and call the nearest psychiatric hospital, or tackle JC to the floor and lick every delicious inch of that naked body.

Justin decided that maybe it would be a bit more prudent to ask before making any rash decisions. “Why are you naked, JC?”

JC rolled his eyes at Justin before turning back toward the counter and running his hand reverently over the mix. “You think you’re such an amazing cook and you’ve never heard of the naked chef? Come on, Justin, the man is famous. And he’s actually pretty freaking brilliant too. Do you realize how much clothing a person can dirty cooking? It’s so much simpler if after you’re done you can just jump in the shower.”

Justin couldn’t contain the laughter as it bubbled forth. He doubled over a fist pressed to his stomach as tears rolled down his cheeks. “J... J... JC, he doesn’t fucking cook naked. It means that his recipes and his style of cooking is raw it’s naked, man.” He managed to explain in between peals of laughter.

“Oh. Well then I’ve invented a new way to cook and it’s quite efficient if I do say so myself.” JC huffed, moving toward the refrigerator.

Justin shook his head in disbelief as he watched JC strut toward the refrigerator in the buff. “You’re just gonna stay naked?”

JC pulled three more tomatoes out of the refrigerator and shot Justin a cheeky grin. “Yup.”

“But what about sharp objects or steam or good lord hot grease? JC, that’s fucking dangerous. You need to go put some clothes on, now. I do not want your body to end up looking like my damn kitchen.” Justin said, looking around him in horror.

JC blushed and stared down at his bare feet. “I guess I didn’t think of that. I’ll be right back. And don’t clean anything. I’ll do it when I’m finished making my salsa.” He said, turning to leave the room.

“You’re making salsa?” Justin asked in disbelief as his eyes scanned his kitchen again.

JC nodded vigorously. “Well yeah. I wanted to surprise you and make the salsa you love so much. Lance even gave me the recipe.”

Justin‘s closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. “Lance gave you the recipe for the salsa?”

JC sighed impatiently; “Yes Lance gave me the recipe. I know how much you love Lance’s salsa. You eat tons of it every time we go over to his place. It was supposed to be a surprise. That’s ok though. You can just go watch some TV or something while I make it.”

Justin stepped over a puddle of mutilated tomato on the floor and snatched the telephone off the hook on the wall. “I’m gonna fucking kill Lance.” He muttered.

JC yanked the phone out of Justin’s hand. “No, Justin. You can’t blame Lance. He’ll be so upset if he knows I messed up his recipe. He even simplified the directions for me.”

Justin rubbed his temples hard and groaned. “Ok, fine. Just go put some clothes on.”

JC smiled and pressed a kiss to Justin’s cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

Justin watched JC dart up the stairs before he dialed the telephone. He growled in frustration when Lance’s machine picked up. “Hey this is Lance. I can’t come to the phone right now so leave your name and a brief message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. If this is Justin I hope you enjoy your surprise.” His fist clenched when he heard Joey and Chris laughing in the background at the end of the message.

“You’re a dead man, Bass. A fucking dead man. I can’t believe you gave JC a recipe for Salsa. It’s probably not even a real recipe, is it? JC’s all happy about his fucking surprise now and I don’t want him upset. If you breathe a word to him that your fucking salsa comes from a jar I’ll rip your head off and shove it up your ass so you can watch me kick it. I’m serious Lance and tell those other fuckers the.... “ Justin was cut off by the beep of Lance’s answering machine.

Justin slammed the telephone back onto the wall. He rushed toward the refrigerator and began rifling through it.

~*~

“Ok I have clothes on now and I’m ready to get to work again.” JC said as he walked into the kitchen.

JC frowned at the empty room. “Hey, Justin? Where’d you go?” He shouted out the kitchen door. He scratched his head and shrugged his shoulders before turning back into the kitchen.

JC had just covered the tomatoes in the blender and started the machine whirring when he heard Justin shout his name.

“Where are you, Justin?” JC called from the kitchen doorway.

“In the dining room, come here.” Justin answered.

JC tossed the towel he’d been holding onto the counter and headed out of the room.

~*~

“What’s up, Just? I’m kind of in the middle of something.” JC said as he walked into the room and came to a very abrupt stop.

Justin was lying naked on the dining room table surrounded by strawberries, chocolate, whipped cream, and champagne. “I kind of had a sweet tooth tonight and thought that maybe we could skip the appetizer and move right on to dessert.”

“De... dessert sounds good.” JC stuttered as he watched Justin spray a line of whipped cream from his chest down to his erection.

Justin grinned. “Well then come and get it.”

JC came and JC got it.

THE END