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Star power alone is not enough to guarantee a great movie,
or even an average movie. The Whole Nine Yards has got box office
lock Bruce Willis, TV superstar Matthew Perry, Oscar nominee
Michael Clarke Duncan, and one of my long time faves Rosanna
Arquette - yet the result is one of the dullest and most unfunny
movies in recent memory.
The ridiculous plotof this hitman comedy revolves around Nicholas
'Oz' Oseranksy (Perry), a debt ridden and hen pecked dentist
(cue the 'down in the mouth' dental gags). His wife Sophie (Arquette)
hates him and is far more interested in how much money she can
get out of him. Enter new neighbour Jimmy 'The Tulip' Tudeski
(Willis) who turns out to be a famous hitman. Turns out there
is a price on Jimmy's head so Sophie blackmails Oz into turning
Jimmy over to see his former employees to collect the reward
money, whilst meanwhile organising for Oz to get 'hit' as well
so she can claim the insurance money. Along the way Oz falls
foul of mob boss Yanni Gogolack (Kevin Pollak) and hulking henchman
(Michael Clarke Duncan), while also falling for Jimmy's estranged
wife Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge). If that all sounds a bit
complicated, I won't even start on the dental nurse hitman groupie
Jill (Amanda Peet - who actually has most of the funniest lines).
The main problem with this movie is that it is just not funny
- which is a big downfall in a comedy because there isn't enough
action or suspense to make up for the shortfalls on the laughter
rating. And some of this film is excrutiatingly bad. Firstly
there is Rosanna Arquette's truly horrible French accent (which
is there for no reason because the plot would have been unaffected
if she had not been French). Secondly there is the impossibly
improbable romance between Cynthia and Oz which is completely
devoid of chemistry. Then there's Matthew Perry, who is so amazingly
hilarious on Friends. Why does his brand of humour not transfer
so well to the big screen? Maybe it does, and we just haven't
seen him in the right role. After all, Willis himself has been
a mjor success at the cinema after his days as David Addison
on Moonlighting. But he's just as bad as everyone else in this
turkey so we can't put all the blame on poor Chandler, I mean,
Perry.
To top it all off, the ending is a bit of a copout and does
not provide any surprise or satisfaction. To sum up, this film
had the potential to be pretty good, but the 'execution' just
isn't there.
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