it must be love



-November 3rd
Oh dear Diary, my good friend, I am in love. Today was my first day of fourth grade and I met the girl of my dreams that I will marry and grow old with. Her name’s Cecilia Clark and she just moved here from Milwaukee. She has dark brown hair and big brown eyes that always look so happy and cheery no matter what she’s doing. I saw her standing outside class this morning, waiting for Mrs. Paisley to let us inside. She had a thick scarf wrapped around her neck and heavy boots on her feet as she leaned against the wall and read a book. She took my breath away when I saw her and that, diary, is how I know it’s love. Tomorrow, I’ll talk to her.


-November 4th
Diary, Cecilia is all I could have hoped for! Mrs. Paisley had her sit in the desk right across from mine and I got to look at her all morning. She’s so pretty, her hair was tied back in a ponytail today and her perfect little ears are always listening to the teacher with such vigor. She’s constantly reading a book unless we’re doing schoolwork. Today, during language arts, I leaned over and asked her in my most impressive voice what sort of book she was reading. She looked up at me, small lips pursed in surprise. Then she smiled and my chest heaved again and I got breathless. She has a wonderful smile. She told me the name of her book, hugging it to her chest like a child. I smiled, nodded, and sat back down. I spent the rest of the day in a happy haze.


-November 5th
Today I saw her in the cafeteria at lunch, though, sitting with a group of girls in our class. They were all smiling and chatting amongst themselves and I longed to join them. I heard Katherine and Janine ask Cecilia questions about herself: what she liked to do, what sort of music she listened to. I listened as closely as I could without being obvious and heard that she liked to rollerblade and she listened to Ashlee Simpson. All the girls seemed to agree with her, and it looked like they were becoming fast friends. I was jealous, diary, I couldn’t help it. But then, as if it was a dream, Cecilia looked at me for a moment, smiled, then asked Katherine if I could sit with them. With a bit of a snooty look, Katherine agreed and I scampered over. While we ate and talked, my arm brushed hers and I starting shaking. I couldn’t breathe and it was wonderful, that’s how much I love her. I must have turned an odd color when I coughed, because she put her hand on my back to calm me down. It was wonderful.


-November 8th
It was devastating spending the weekend without seeing Cecilia, you’re no match compared to her, diary. I found her address in the phone book and she didn’t live too far from me! I hopped on my bike, telling my mom that I was going to Kevin’s house, and sped off to find her street. When I got to her house, out of breath, I stared up at the big brick doorway in wonder, trying to decide if I should knock to get her to come out to play. Luckily, I didn’t have to decide anything. Her little round face appeared at a window upstairs and she grinned and waved before shutting the curtains. A few seconds later, the big mahogany door with the brass knocker swung open and she ran down the steps to meet me. She rolled back on her heels and asked what I was doing there. I told her that I wanted to see if she could come out to play, and she smiled happily. She really has a beautiful smile, diary, I could barely stand it. I was breathing heavily from the biking I did, and the love just made my heart pound even faster than it was. She said she could play until dinnertime and then she hugged me in a playful sort of way, saying how happy she was to have a friend in the new town already. I felt her tiny arms around me and I couldn’t breathe again, I was so in love. I had a terrible coughing fit, hacking and gagging, and I saw worry in her eyes when she watched me. I smiled at her, told her it was okay, then I dropped dead, right on her driveway. Even her scream is beautiful. It turns out, it wasn’t love, oh diary. It was untreated asthma.



back to archive ~ <3