epilogue ~ <3 waiting on the world to change





f i v e · y e a r s · l a t e r . . .


Adulthood can be a hard time in your life.

You look at babies, so pure and so clean, and adults are just this mess of sadness and phobias. Adulthood is where you make your decisions: You can be anywhere from a drug addict to a doctor depending on your decisions. If you make friends with the wrong kinds of people, your life could be ruined, and if you make friends with those that have authority, you could have it made. Everything you had in your life up until then was up to your parents, but when you hit that time in your life where you’re no longer a child, the power is shifted to you, and it’s terrifying.

Near the orange pet store downtown in a stucco apartment building that has pumpkin colored carpets and fake ferns, there’s an apartment on the second floor where two boys have made the transition between children to adults. It’s apartment number 280, down the hall from the apartment of two rambunctious men, next to the apartment of a pessimistic old woman. Behind it’s door is two boys that are scared to become men, but it’s happened already, and they don’t even know it.


xxx Coy’s POV xxx

Five years … hard to believe it’s been this long. I never thought he’d stick with me, but he has for some inexplicable reason, and I love him for it. Keith Carnovale … that name makes me think of too many things. It makes my heart beat sickeningly fast, it makes my eyes light up (or so I’ve been told), and it makes me act stupid as hell. My boyfriend. We came out officially at graduation, though everyone in school knew long before then … hell, everyone knew before we knew. But at grad, when we were standing on stage in those atrocious robes, leaving grade school behind us with all the parents of our peers watching, Keith threw his arms around my neck and tongue kissed me. Fortunately, we got a chorus of applause instead of boos, and we both think it’s because a lot of our classmates are secretly queer.

Keith and I live together now in Brandon and Jeff’s apartment building, next to that woman who slipped the dirty note under their door. Sometime when we’re fucking, we slam the headboard against the wall on purpose to hear her scream at us, which might seem a little twisted but it‘s so much fun. We got the apartment last year, mom bought it for us along with more furniture than we know what to do with because we‘re spoiled little brats. Neither of us have jobs yet, unfortunately, but we’re gonna go to college, which is better.

Things haven’t changed all that much. Keith walks nearly normally and the pains have gone away. He’s gotten used to the glasses and refuses to get contacts, which is for the best because he looks amazing. As he’s been waiting for his entire life, he’s finally grown taller and now stays at five foot eight, unlikely to get any taller. I haven’t grown an inch, and thankfully, chances are good that I never will. I’m too damn tall anyways.

I haven’t changed at all, in my opinion, which is a bit pathetic, isn’t it? I don’t wear much eyeliner anymore, so I guess you could say I’ve grown up a bit … but I still dress really queer, and Keith’s gotten even worse than me, getting in the habit of wearing skirts. Sometimes long, sometimes painfully short, which might seem a little weird, but you don’t hear me complaining and NO ONE can say that he doesn’t look good in them.

I slump back against our couch named Vern (Keith’s idea … I can’t believe he named his leg ‘Merve’ …) and flick between channels, hauling my legs up onto the coffee table. It’s Saturday, and we don’t have any plans until later, so I’m just going comatose, scratching irritatingly at the unshaved stubble on my jaw . Keith’s somewhere in the bathroom dressing after showering and I try not to think about the fact that he might be naked, because even at twenty one he can practically get me to come in my pants if he gives me the right look. I’m owned, I’m not going to try and deny it. He’s got me whipped.

I blink at the tv guide, trying to find anything even remotely watchable, but then I realize how much we’ve turned out like Jeff and Brandon. Was that intentional? The two of them haven’t changed as we grew, they’re still in the same apartment, still having absurdly kinky sex, still working meaningless jobs (But not at Save On Foods, they got fired for having bad judgement. And by that, I mean fucking in the stock room). And they’re happy, which I don’t understand. If I were stuck in a job like that, not advancing in life, I would be depressed, but they’re so happy-go-lucky. I admire it in a really retarded kind of way.

Oh, I lied, something had changed, they got married last year. Yup, married, official and everything. It was one of the most screwed up ceremonies I’ve ever seen, Jeff was decked out in a backless wedding gown with a goddamn tiara, he even had his hair up in a wedding-style up-do that most women have. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought he was just an enormous flat-chested girl. He looked gorgeous, I’m sorry to admit. Their families came (My family replaced Brandon’s) and a lot of their friends from work, half of which were flamboyantly gay (Jeff‘s friends) while the other half were low key and looking really scared (Brandon‘s), and it was terrifying. Keith and I were bridesmaids, and they tried to make us wear taffeta dresses, but only Keith did. I convinced them to let me wear a tux … Keith looked so amazing though, I almost felt bad for ripping the dress off him after the reception. Mom and her boyfriend were there (Yes! She found someone!) looking uncomfortable but misty-eyed none the less.

Confidentially, part of me wants to get married too ...

I’m snapped out of my thoughts as the buzzer rings, I leap up off the couch and run to the microphone near the door. “Hello?”

“Hey Queer.” a voice on the other end sends a reminiscent shiver up my spine.

“What the fuck?” I say, trying to place the voice. “… LAUR?!” I exclaim in shock, because I haven’t seen her since that day at the hospital. We’ve talked over instant messaging frequently, but never on the phone, and never in person. Her parents found out about Keith and I that day, and they never let her see either of us again, and all three of us were heartbroken. But she’s here! In the building!

“Damn you sound different! C’mon let me in, I didn’t fly here for nothing!” she says happily, and I can’t do it fast enough. I fly across the room (we have the same layout as Brandon and Jeff) to get dressed. “Keith!” I shout at the closed bathroom door.

“Whaaat?” he says groggily, not opening the door.

“Hurry up and get out here!”

“Why?”

“I’ve got a surpriiiise!” I tease.

“Is it edible?”

“Not overly.”

“Is it kinky?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Then I’ll be a while.”

I can’t help but giggle, but I leave him alone, deciding it’ll be funnier to surprise him like this. I pull an orange polo on over a blank tank top and rummage through the pile of take out containers and sex paraphernalia on the bed to find a brush to fix my hair with. I’m barely ready by the time I hear three sharp knocks on the door, and I fly out into the living room, only too eager to answer.

The minute I turn the doorknob, I’m knocked backwards by a painful hug, getting a face full of chestnut brown hair. It’s definitely Lauren, hugging me so tight I think she’s breaking a few of my already-bruised ribs (Keith can go overboard … I’m not gonna go into detail). I hug her back anyways, smiling. She pulls back, and she looks so different I can barely breathe. She’s a girl! She’s wearing makeup! And her hair isn’t braided!

“You look amazing!” I gush like the little gay boy I am.

She grins at me and flips her hair. “I’ve always been amazing, darling.” she jokes. “But look at you! You look …!” she pauses, giving me a once over with an odd sort of expression. “Riiight … okay, you look the same. BUT FANTASTIC!” and she hugs me again.

I chuckle and hug her once more, but then I notice something: there’s two teenage boys carefully closing my door. Laur sees me looking and she beckons them in with a grin. “Don’t be scared, you pussies. He’s gay, not a time bomb.”

The boy on the right is wearing a navy blue shirt covered in spider-like swirls and he’s fiddling nervously with the hem, a blush against his tanned cheeks. His hair isn’t too bad, shorter than fashionable and flopping over his forehead either by accident or design. He’s looking at his feet, eyes nearly obscured by his dark lashes. The boy next to him has paler-than-pale skin with a dusting of freckles across his nose, and unlike the other boy, he’s looking straight at me with a challenging look in his eyes the color of terracotta. His hair is jet black and straight at the top, but it spirals into curls at his shoulders (it’s odd in a sort of appealing way) and he’s dressed in all black, including a trench coat. His arms are crossed defiantly, and I note that his nails are black as well.

I can’t tell who they are, they don’t ring any bells … but then, the boy with the khaki hair gets the courage to look at me, and I draw in a breath … I know those eyes. Silvery blue, speckled with hazel and yellow, dark around the outside, eyes that could make anyone stop dead in their tracks.

It’s Phil and Cam.

My eyebrows shoot up and my mouth goes a bit agape, I have the decency to blush at not recognizing them sooner.

Lauren laughs with a huge grin, sauntering over to Cam and throwing an arm around his shoulders. He’s nearly as tall as she is, towering over Phil by at least five inches, and his look sours considerably when Lauren touches him. “They’re pretty hot, eh? Yes indeed, those little ragamuffins you recall have grown into very respectable young men …” she says with fake authority, and Cam shoves her arm off his shoulders with a sneer.

“Don’t fucking call us that.” he says, obviously having grown up to have a considerable smut mouth. Hm, five years, that makes them at least fifteen now, right? Math was never my forte. Phil’s still staring at the tips of his sneakers as Lauren makes an attempt to kiss Cam, to which he responds with a palm to the face. Laur learns her lesson and steps away, turning to me to say something, but she freezes and raises an extreme eyebrow at something behind me. Cam has the exact same expression but more shocked, and Phil is just staring and blushing heavily, mouth open a little to reveal a row of shiny braces on his buckteeth.

I turn around and immediately start laughing. Standing not far behind us is Keith with damp towel-dried hair, wearing nothing other than one of my larger band tees, a thin white one that goes to about mid thigh, clinging to his body in the nicest of ways, and he’s frozen in shock. I watch all three of our visitors gazes drop to his prosthesis, standing proudly below his left knee, half beige plastic, half metal including a steel bar ankle, and I wonder what they’d say if they knew it’s name is Merve, and that he talks to it and draws on it from time to time.

“Sorry!” he yelps and goes to run back into the bedroom, but I snag his elbow and keep him out here. I whisper into his ear, asking if he’s wearing boxers, and his response is a quiet ‘sort of’, and I know that means he’s wearing panties, which he’s been doing lately because he knows I love it. I decide to torture him and make him stay.

“Look who’s here!” I say, holding him around the shoulders and sweeping my arm out at our high school friend and her accompanies. He’s blushing heavily behind his thick framed glasses and quickly gets tugged into a fierce hug by Lauren, she spins him around, and I hide a laugh behind my hand as he makes Cam blush when the corner of his shirt rides up, exposing a pale hip and the strap of bright red lacy panties.

Keith fights his way out of her grip, grinning like mad, half-naked embarrassment forgotten. “Ohmigod, what the fuck are you doing here, you psycho?” he gapes. “You look amazing!” he says just as I did, giving her a look over. I don’t miss Cam roll his eyes, which makes me smile a bit.

“Naw, look at you!” she says holding him at arms length. “You’re blonde now! And crippled!” she adds the last one with an enormous grin, and he laughs good naturedly, over any drama. She lets him go, and he notices Cam and Phil, maybe for the first time. I watch his face as he obviously thinks about them, then his hand flies up to cover his mouth. He goes and stands in front of Phil with a look of severe concentration on his face, and the small boy blinks up at him, frightened.

“Holy shit, it is you!” he exclaims. “You’re that little boy from Laur’s! Phil, right? Do you talk now?!” he rambles, peering curiously into his face. I stop watching the two of them for a moment, my gaze drifts to Cam, who’s scowling at them for some reason …

Phil opens his mouth and after a moment, he speaks for the first time in … forever. “Yeah, I talk now.” he tells us in a very prepubescent voice.

“Did you used to be mute?” Keith asks him.

He shakes his head, and I have a feeling he thinks he’s being interrogated, because he still looks frightened. “I was just freakishly quiet.” he grins sheepishly, giving off a very strong cute little boy vibe.

“Hm …” Keith ponders and moves over to Cam, who’s not that much shorter than him. “You’re Cam right? Laur’s little brother?” he asks, leaning in just as he’d done to Phil. This time, however, Cam’s hand closes over his shoulder and pushes him back gently, muttering something about personal space.

“Yeah, that’s me. I remember you …” he looks Keith over once, but doesn’t look at his legs, I notice with a self satisfied smile, because that’s my boyfriend with the gorgeous legs that he can’t look at without blushing. “… you used to a be a midget.”

Keith takes offence and glares.. “So did you.”

“I was ten.” Cam says flatly, and I’m surprised he’s talking to someone as blatantly gay as Keith, I figured he wouldn’t like queers based on our last interaction. “So I was allowed to be short. You were sixteen, if I remember right, and you couldn’t have been much more than five feet tall.”

He flushes red. “I was five foot four!”

“Not much more than five, as I said.” Cam smirks.

Lauren steps in next to them as I take Keith by the shoulders, knowing not to go too far into Keith’s height because he’s been known to throw punches. Fortunately, Keith relaxes and settles back against me, still eyeing Cam warily.

“Anyways …” Laur looks from Cam to Phil and crosses her arms. “Do either of you confident stallions want to tell them why you’re here?” she says, and I watch Phil blush, and Cam just snorts. Keith, standing in front of me, lifts on tip toe to whisper in my ear.

“Cam’s pretty hot.” he chuckles, and I smack him.

“He’s five years younger than you, boy! Have some restraint! You wouldn’t have wanted to tongue him when he was ten!” I hiss back as Lauren whispers something as we are to the teens.

“Oh come on, you know that smouldering goth thing he’s got going on is sexy.” Keith taunts, and I flush red thinking about it. “You probably like Phil though, knowing you. You‘ve got a thing for the weak ones.” he laughs, and I just huff, not wanting to tell him that he’s right.

“… Um …” Phil makes a little hesitant noise in the back of his throat, getting our attention. As Laur said, they came here for a reason, and I can’t for the life of me figure out what it is. Then again, I’m dense. “… Um … we wanted to talk to you guys … because …”

Keith smiles at him encouragingly as his silvery eyes flick between the two of us, I just stay silent in curiosity, wracking my mind for what he could be saying. Cam obviously isn’t going to put anything in, he’s just rubbing the back of his neck and staring at the tv.

“… because … we wanted to thank you.”

I bite the inside of my cheek and look at him curiously. “How come? We’ve only met twice … and you never said a word …” I tell him, because that’s my exact thoughts. This mysterious little boy is making no sense.

“Well, uh, you sort of … sorted out a lot of stuff.” he mumbles and I go to ask him what he means, but my protest dies in my throat when he nudges his shoulder against Cam’s, then his fingers travel painstakingly slowly down the sleeve of his trench coat towards his hand.

Cam snorts impatiently and grabs Phil’s tiny fingers in his hand, hauling him against his chest. Phil stays captive for a second, bracings himself against his chest before he leans up and kisses Cam. I gasp audibly, Lauren laughs and Keith squeaks. Cam’s kisses remind me of Jeff in a retarded kind of way, it just looks so ruthless and uncaring, but passionate at the same time. I can tell he’s an undeniable top. And I can’t help but wonder if braces are uncomfortable to kiss with.

I get it now … they’re together. And Keith and I helped that? I guess it makes sense in an odd sort of way … sometimes when you’re that young, you don’t know what everything is yet. Maybe they didn’t know what being gay was yet, and … Keith and I showed them? God, I have no fucking idea, I’m in uncharted territory. Cam lets him go and steps back, shoving his hands into his pockets and staring off to the left again.

Phil looks shaky and flushes deep red as he gathers enough courage to look at Keith and I. I suppose it‘s easier since we‘re gay too. “So, uh, we wanted to thank you …”

Actually,” Cam cuts in, his jackass attitude is starting to become endearing, which makes me think I’m going insane. “YOU wanted to thank them.” he says, turning to Phil, pointing a lacquered fingernail at him. “But we don’t have anything to thank them for … This …” he breaks off nervously, and I know what he means by this. I grin. “… has nothing to do with them! I was the one who started things, it had nothing to do with -”

Lauren chuckles. “Started things? Cam, you left a note on his front door then ran away and moved to Chicago. He was actually the one that started things after that. You couldn’t confront your way out a wet paper bag.”

Phil, Keith and I all giggle like little girls as Cam flushes red and glares open mouthed at Lauren. We watch him try to say something, but in the end, he throws his trench coat off his shoulders (Phil catches it) and launches at his sister. Before I know it, there’s a serious bitchfight going on my kitchen floor. Cam’s throwing punches and Lauren’s just laughing hysterically and holding his fists back, not a single one hits her.

Phil sighs and folds Cam’s trench coat over his arms, stepping up next to Keith beside me. “You really did help.” he says quietly, watching the Fath children duke it out. Cam just keeps trying to punch her, but she’s quicker and bigger than him, so he still hasn’t succeeded. He’s rambling things at high speed, and I can’t understand a word he’s saying, but I figure Lauren might. Maybe it’s a sibling thing.

Keith looks over at Phil, tugging the hem of his (my) shirt down over his thighs. “How did we help, if you don’t mind me asking.” he says politely, I think he’s taken a shining to both these boys. Phil does a little hesitant action with his hands before answering, he’s a really nervous person.

“I just, um, sort of always knew I’d been gay … but I never told anyone before, because I didn’t know that other people were gay too, sort of. But then, when I was ten and you guys came over that one time … I knew you thought the same way I did.” he blushes, and a feeling of complete pride washes over me. I was right! We did help him! Cam screeches as he finally lands a punch on Laur’s jaw, but she keeps laughing. “Then I just got more courage and realized everything about Cam … and stuff … and then he liked me too, apparently.” he finishes with a small huff, obviously pleased.

Keith makes a little cooing noise. “How did you two get together?” he pries, turning back to Phil with excited eyes. I look back at Laur and Cam and consider stopping them, but it’s none of my business, and neither of them look hurt … Lauren’s pulling Cam’s hair though.

Phil scratches the back of his head and twists his fingers in the trench coat. “Why do you wanna know that?”

“Because I’m a pervert.” Keith says, putting his hands on his hips.

“O-oh.” he says, obviously a bit shocked. Then again, who wouldn’t be? “Well, um … he just came to visit from Chicago one day ... after some stuff had happened ... and he just kissed me and ... I didn't stop him.”

“What sort of kiss?” I grin, getting on the bandwagon, but more or less just wanting to see him blush. As I hoped and expected, he blushes and stares at me with that same kind of disbelieving wonder he gave Keith.

“Uh … I dunno … I just stood on tiptoe and … kissed him, I guess.” he fidgets.

“Soft or hard?” Keith asks instantly.

“… Hard …?” he says, sounding like he’s more guessing than giving an answer.

“Where were your hands?”

“Perv!” Phil shrieks, and Keith clarifies that he didn’t mean anything gross by it. “Well … then ... holding his arms. His were …” he twists the trench coat again, staring at it. “… in my hair.” he mumbles.

Keith makes a little ‘aw’ noise, and I just smirk. I go to say something in return, but a shriek pierces the air, and we look down at the floor where Lauren’s on her knees with a fistful of Cam’s curls in her hand. I hold back another laugh, we all do, at the panicked look on the boy’s face. “Phiiiiiil!” he whines. “Helphelphelphelp …”

Phil chuckles and walks over, he doesn’t have to do anything because when he gets close, Lauren drops him and stands, smiling like she won a million dollars. “It’s fun to see him go girly.” she tells us, standing next to me as we all watch the two of them. Phil stands in front of Cam, holding his coat out on his arm, and Cam stands up from where his sister had him pinned and takes the coat from him. Slipping back into it, he gives the three of us a slight look out of the corner of his eye before he leans down and kisses Phil.

We watch as Cam holds a tight grip on the smaller boy’s forearms, braced so delicately against his chest. I wonder vaguely if Lauren’s uncomfortable (I’d be spazzing if I saw Sasha kissing someone), but then Keith leans against me, and I stop thinking about her. I wrap my arm around his tiny frame, noticeably warm beneath the white translucent shirt, and I slip my fingers beneath the hem, curling them in the blood-red strap of his panties. The thin lace scratches against me, and I move lower until I touch the silk covering his ass. I smooth my palm over it and he doesn’t even flinch, so used to getting felt up after nearly a half-decade of it.

Cam and Phil stop kissing and waltz over to my couch like they own the place, flopping down onto it, Cam’s dark boots instantly on the table with a rattling ‘thunk’. Keith leans up and whispers into my ear, breath smelling of toothpaste, lips soft on my ear.

“I think we’ve created a legacy.”





{ FINAL AUTHORS NOTE }

I can’t believe I got this done.

I wanna thank, first and foremost, Teagan White, for being born. She is better than orgies in chocolate, and I, in no way, deserve her gorgeous friendship. Her and her comments have been an amazing source of inspiration, and I couldn’t have done this without her fanart, which is far better than my original character portrayals. If you are friends with her, never let her go, I swear. Losty, if you’re reading this, I love you way more than I should <3.

And also, I’d be a huge bitch if I didn’t thank everyone on dA, the sole readers of this travesty against nature. To the rest of you, I love you all. If you’ve left me one comment about my story, if you’ve drawn me one piece of fanart, if you’re reading this, I’m talking to you right now, and I love you. I can’t believe I got any fandom on this, but to have actually people read something I wrote, it’s just completely fucking mind blowing. One single comment, even if it’s a bad one, I appreciate it, because it’s unbelievable that people are noticing me. I hope I get published one day, and if I do you can tell everyone that you knew me back when I was a teenager and still sucked. Also, a thanks to all you lurkers that don’t comment or tell me you’re reading, I know you’re there. Counters don’t go up on their own <3.

Anyways, you get what I’m trying to say. Love you like the day is long, see you in a few months when Isochronal is done.

- Roni.








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