Regrouping (1x05)

by Megan Reilly

Original Air Date: 16 September 2000


(OUR HEROES' CAMP)
(IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING "HUNGRY")

Most eyes went rather sharply to Chance for his comment on the death of Pinocchio. Pooh_Bah sniffled and rubbed at reddened eyes. She waved a hand vaguely in the direction of where her father had been standing. "That was our best hope of getting out of here!" she informed Chance, pulling her weapon. Fred was by her side, his piercing gun at the ready.

"Not so fast." Krycek shoved Fred out of the way. "You wouldn't kill him just as I'm about to get my chance, so to speak?" Pushing past Pooh_Bah, he gently stroked his hand along Chance's face.

"I can see you're real broken up over Pinocchio," Pooh_Bah muttered, turning away. Florence watched the girl carefully as she went over to sit by herself.

"Hey! That's digusting!" Fred yelled at Krycek as the Russian began to murmur to Chance Harper in Russian. "And I don't think Azar would approve at all!"

"He's, um, right," Chance said after a moment in which he appeared to be savoring Krycek's caress. Megan's eyes narrowed as she watched them, wondering if maybe there was something Chance wasn't telling them. After all, hadn't he had more than his fair share of beautiful women surrounding him and never made a serious move on any of them? But Chance set Krycek's hand aside and took a step back. "I'd hate to be responsible for your getting a piercing stud through the back of the skull."

"He wouldn't dare," Krycek said, turning around and kissing Fred's cheek quickly and darting away, leaving a fleeting impression of Bugs Bunny smooching Elmer Fudd just to get him upset. Fred clutched his piercing gun closer.

"Look, we've got a mission here," Hunter said, trying bravely to mask her despair at Pinocchio's untimely demise.

"What is the mission, exactly?" Jules asked. "I got here a little late and I think I missed something."

"No," said the Infamous Anthony J, "I've been paying attention and I'm not sure I know what our mission is either, other than survive. And some of us haven't been doing such a great job of that." He took Jules's hand protectively. He wasn't going to let anything happen to her.

"We've got trouble. Helicopters, twelve o'clock!" Geppetto announced as the beating of the rotating blades overhead became loud and pronounced.

"That's a Republican Guard helicopter!" The Chaos Factor cried, identifying it easily. Everyone stood still and silent. A collective sigh of relief went through the crowd as the helicopter passed overhead and silence once again reigned.

"That was close," Jules said.

"Too close," Hunter declared, expressing what they were all feeling.

"The mission is to survive and go home," Chaos said, returning them to their previous conversation.

"How do we do that?" Megan asked, not entirely clear on the concept. Chaos shrugged, which she didn't think was a good sign at all.

"Obviously we take out Santiago," Pooh_Bah said, a hint of misery still lingering in her voice. She sat with her chin in her hands, looking glum. Florence rested her hand on the girl's shoulder comfortingly, a worried expression in her eyes.

"Yeah, that oughta be a snap," Krycek muttered.

"I'll just get him between the eyes!" Fred offered, wielding his piercing gun. "D'you think he's a little too attached to that thing?" Jules whispered to Tony. But Fred had excellent hearing and a quick reflex on the trigger finger.

"Wait!" Jules yelled and the piercing stud came screeching to a halt in midair, hanging there like a special effect from The Matrix. "You can't kill me! Who'd protect Tony from Krycek?"

"Pish posh," Krycek said, as though that settled the matter. It didn't - no one could be exactly sure what that meant. It wasn't a very Krycekian thing to say.

Fred despaired, thinking that Jules had a point. Still the sharp stud hovered in the air.

"I won't let you die to protect me!" Tony declared, pushing Jules out of the way.

"Hey, none of that heroic stuff you pulled like getting us both blown up in Fallout," Jules said, shoving him back.

"Enough," Pooh_Bah said, walking over and grabbing the projectile. She shoved it into one of the pockets of her cargo pants. "You watch that thing," she cautioned Fred. Now that the crisis was over, Tony charged the clone, knocking him easily to the ground. The piercing gun went flying. "Hey, enough!" Chance cried, breaking up the fight, holding Fred with one hand and Tony with the other.

"He almost killed Jules," Tony said, bristling.

"I know," Chance said. "But if we keep killing each other, we're not going to get anywhere. We have to try to get along if we're going to go home."

Fred broke away from Chance's grasp to hide behind Pooh_Bah, which didn't work very well, since he was considerably bigger and taller than she was.

"I'll just keep this safe," Krycek offered, plucking the piercing gun from its bed of leaves. Hunter started to object, but stopped herself. The weapon would probably be safe with Krycek. After all, he hadn't tried to hurt anyone recently, just molest them.

"It's got to work like Harsh Realm, right? Considering it is Harsh Realm?" Pooh_Bah said. "We take out Santiago, we win the game, we go home." She got up from her seat on the tree stump and took a step, encumbered by Fred clinging to her as he tried to use her as a shield.

Florence pulled the clone away from the teenager and shoved her gun in his face. Fred yelped and cowered. "Florence," Pooh_Bah cautioned, without turning her head to look, and the silent woman let the clone go.

"If it works like Harsh Realm, then what happens to those who've been killed in the game?" Tony asked gravely, his eyes dark and haunted. "Do they die in the Real World?"

There was a moment of silence for their fallen comrades as everyone considered the question. No one's survival was guaranteed and more of them would likely fall along the way.

"We don't know that's true anyway," Megan said. "All we know is what Pinocchio told us, and he had his own agenda."

"You calling my dad a liar?" Pooh_Bah demanded.

"No," Megan said carefully, taking a step back and wondering if she was going to get killed in her own section, as Azar had died in the part she wrote. No one had died yet. The pressure was on.

"Everyone's fine," Chaos said, intervening. "They're fine, back at home in the Real World, posting up a storm on HRfic as usual." He was well aware of the doubtful looks this statement brought him. "I promise."

"How do you know?" Fred pouted, missing his owner amaresu.

"That's ridiculous," Geppetto said. "War doesn't work like that, and Harsh Realm is war. What're the consequences if when you die, you just get to go home?"

"You don't get to play the game anymore," Chaos said.

"What was that?" Markus demanded.

"How do you know all this, anyway?" Tony asked, turning on the other man.

Chaos's look turned slightly sheepish. "I, ah, you might say that, well..."

"He had a hand in creating this scenario," Pooh_Bah answered for him.

"She helped!" Chaos accused, thinking he could save himself.

To his surprise, no one attacked. Chaos straightened up, once again assured this adventure had been a good idea. "Okay. Santiago City it is," Hunter said, producing the keys to Pinocchio's Chevelle. "SHOTGUN!"

There was a moment of silent amazement that everyone seemed to have called it at exactly the same moment.

"I called it!"

"No, I -"

"I'm tallest, I should get to..." The roar of voices grew overwhelming as everyone started talking at once. In the confusion, Florence looked around, counting heads, and noticed something was amiss. She tugged at Pooh_Bah's sleeve, getting her attention. Florence gestured with her hands, but Pooh_Bah didn't follow what she was trying to convey, her eyes growing wide as the gestures appeared to represent something that was not PG rated.

Florence rolled her eyes in annoyance and turned, searching the faces in the crowd for someone she knew would understand what she was trying to communicate. Innocents, all of them, she thought, striding over to Hunter and nudging the woman, making the same gestures with her hands.

Hunter understood instantly, as Florence had thought she would. "I think we have a problem," she said, raising her voice over the din of arguing. "Where's Krycek?"

A hush fell over the group as they realized Hunter was right. The amorous Russian was nowhere to be found. And neither was Fred's piercing gun.


(MEANWHILE...)
(ELSEWHERE IN THE FOREST)

Krycek had grown tired of petty bickering, and his feelings were hurt by the constant rejection of his advances. He was an assassin and a damn good one, yet no one here was afraid of him. They laughed at him, thought he was a fool. What did he need them for anyway? He had two arms in Harsh Realm, and it was the sort of place where a man could start over and re-create himself with as much power as he wanted.

Besides, he missed Carla Jane and no one else seemed to be worried that they didn't know where she was. He didn't think she was dead. She was too resourceful for that. So he'd set out to look for her.

He stopped, coming upon a familiar figure amidst the trees. Someone whose acquaintance he hadn't made in quite a long time. "Hey there, stud," Krycek punned as he prepared the piercing gun for his reunion with Major Mel Waters of the Republican Guard.


(MEANWHILE...)
(BACK AT CAMP)

"Florence gets shotgun," Hunter declared, silencing the arguments. "It's only fair, she can't call it. But we do have something of a logistical problem..." She turned to look at the Chevelle and then at the ten other people standing in front of her.

"Um, nobody's died in this episode," Chaos whispered to Megan.

"I know," the author of the episode despaired.

"Better hurry up, don't you think?" Chaos continued. "It's almost over, and we need to off at least 2 people to fit everyone in the car."

Megan frowned. "I think I'm too kindhearted for this." Chaos stared at her in shock. "I know, it came as a terrible surprise to me, too. I was gonna kill Jules, but I just felt so bad. And then I thought Markus, cause, well, he's a clone, but then Gepetto sent me a story to read while I wasn't feeling well and he's her clone, so..." She sighed. "I can't do it." She realized everyone was looking at her, and what appeared to be sympathy on their faces had to be more like loathing because she was such a spineless wimp. She looked down, biting her lip.

"Here." She jumped at the soft voice in her ear as hands closed over her eyes. It sounded like Pinocchio...but Pinocchio was dead, wasn't he? Even though he'd been on the no-kill list? Then again, there were still several lookalikes running around. "All you have to do is raise the gun and shoot into the crowd."

"I -" she protested.

"Now." The body pressed up against her urged her to pull the trigger, so she did. The shot rang out, loud, and she broke away.

"Pinocchio," Megan said, and he nodded gravely. She would have recognized those camoflouge-print pants anywhere.

"Daddy?" Pooh_Bah's voice was high and slightly shrill. Florence was at the girl's side in an instant, her hand covering the wound in Pinocchio's daughter's chest. Within seconds, she was as good as new.

"That didn't solve the transportation problem, did it?" Chance asked.

"Watch it," Pinocchio cautioned, turning on the man who looked so much like him. "I don't like you and I don't like your trenchcoat, you read me?"

"Loud and clear," Chance said, moving away from him.

"Look, Krycek's missing," Pinocchio said, taking control of the situation. "We send a search party after him, everyone else heads to Santiago City. Problem solved and we're not standing around the woods anymore."

"Somebody still has to die in this episode," Chaos pointed out.

Pop! Fizz! A second later, Markus was gone and Geppetto looked upset. "It's okay," Pinocchio said to her comfortingly, "If this one's telling the truth and when you rez out you just head back to the real world, somebody had to go back and keep an eye on Mayhem."

Geppetto nodded, seeing the logic of Pinocchio's words. Then, as they sank in, horror clouded her expression. "Mayhem! By now he's probably used the internet to download instructions to build a nuclear bomb...or worse."

"Mayhem's just a kitten," Megan pointed out helpfully. "He said so himself."

"Thanks for healing me, Florence," Pooh_Bah said belatedly, with a shiver. "If Mayhem's out there, there may be no home to go back to."

"Sometimes that kid sounds just like her mother," Pinocchio muttered, dismayed, then clapped his hands. "The search party."

Hunter tapped Pinocchio on the shoulder and whispered into his ear.

"But one of us has to stay with the car," Pinocchio murmured back to her, a frown on his face.

"I'll drive," Chance offered, and got a gun barrel in his face for the trouble. "Joke," Chance backed down.

"You're right," Pinocchio said after another moment listening to Hunter. "Since this is Krycek we're dealing with, we'll send those who can handle themselves around him. Hunter, take care of my baby." Pinocchio's hand lingered lovingly on the Chevelle. "Keep an eye on Pooh_Bah, too. The rest of us will catch up once we've found Krycek. Florence, Megan, Chance, Geppetto...you're with me." Pinocchio started for the woods with long strides.

"But..." Chance began to protest. Krycek had demonstrated quite an interest in him. He wouldn't feel safe looking for the man.

"Don't make me shoot you," Pinocchio snapped at Chance as they headed into the woods to find Krycek as the others piled into the car to go take out Santiago.

[ END EPISODE 5 ]