WARNING:I am the Hentenno-sama. I am Ecchi personified. Prepare to call me sick and wrong.

You would think that more romance writers would be lesbian. I mean, really all they do is sit on their asses all day thinking of what new and delicious ways they can bring their heroine to orgasm. I know this romance writer does!

Ever wonder how glue is able to slide so smoothly out of the bottle and not get stuck to the inside of the bottle? Is it that the bottle is such a moped that the glue can’t wait to get away? Cause you know there’s more than just “sitting there” done in a glue bottle…

Why do people constantly obsess on the “alternate lifestyles”? Do they think there is some magical way they have sex? Do they think that in the middle of sex they begin to act out weird rituals? "Oh baby, don't forget, tonight before we orgasm, we have to sacrifice the black goat."

Sex looks ridiculous. Seriously. Just sit back and think about it for a minute. It looks positively gross.

Disney: Things I have concluded after watching these movies too many times
Apologies to my friends and Disney fans everywhere. All characters are copyrighted and owned by the Disney corporation or something like that....basically, they could sue me for every last sou. And I couldn't do jack shit about it.

There are no cute guards in Aladdin. I have concluded this is because Jasmine has them all hidden away in a little harem. Aladdin of course joins in the fun cause he is obviously bi.

Jasmine also has many lesbian affairs. One of her favorite lovers is (of course) Jessica Rabbit. She invites Miss Jessica and hubby Roger over for a bit of bestial/lesbian fun. After Aladdin joined in, there was no longer any need to be in the same room, as Al really seemed to get off on the whole bestial thing…and Roger loved his wife so much, he didn’t mind at all, and even grew to enjoy Al’s little “dips” into his nether region.

Now, in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, they cut out a rather lengthy “patty cake” scene which included, of course, spanking and hand jobs.

Do I even need to mention the bestial thing again?

In Beauty and the Beast, there is also the whole bestial thing, but this time it includes various “inanimate objects” that are “animated.” These objects are used extensively to “service” both Beauty and her Beast.

In Pinocchio, the REAL reason that little “fairy” changed Pinocchio back was so no one else could feel his nose grow.

The Little Mermaid is an example of how oppressive womyn are when they get rejected by a lover. Ariel was a lesbian (HELLO!!! Fish!!!), and had just told Miss Ursula she couldn’t see her anymore. Don’t let the innocence fool you! Ariel loved Ursula because she was able to bind and gag her in ways Ariel had only DREAMED of… Well, imagine how Mistress Ursula feels when her little submissive comes back and asks to be transformed to a human so she can go and have a MAN! Of all the nerve! Really, you would think that Ariel would be a little smarter than that! Her Father was a better bet than Ursula! Ariel, never looking beyond the present, of course thinks Mistress Ursula will grant her wish. And she does. But what Disney doesn’t tell you is that Mistress Ursula actually said that Miss Ariel had to “get it on and come” with her man before she could be allowed to stay in the human world. So of course Ariel goes up there and tries to be good little slut, but she just can’t do it-she loves her mistress too much, but realizes this too late. Her mistress comes to her in the form of the vampy sex goddess Vanessa (sorry, love but it’s true; at least she spells it different!) Well, Mistress Ursula casts a spell on Eric and convinces him to “marry” her on the sea. Little does everyone realize that Mistress Ursula is planning on killing the arrogantly blind bastard so she and her little submissive can go off and enjoy each other once more. Well, everything is hunky-dory until Ariel gets it in her head to go and see her Mistress and beg forgiveness. She messes up the whole plan and Ursula ends up dead. Eric kills her when he mistakes her game with Ariel. Bastard. Well, Ariel is left with really, no choice. She can’t tell her father that she is really a lesbian, so he turns her into a human and she is basically forced to live out her days as a slave to Eric. Poor little fish girl.

Either that or it was a role-play that got out of hand.

I don’t even want to get into Hunchback...

Now in Sleeping Beauty, there’s a bit that you don’t see…you see before they come down from the bedroom, in order to ensure that Aurora really is awake, the Prince has a bit o’ fun. The three fairies (I love those gals!) are “nature’s bachelors” who have “embraced the love that dare not speak its name” but are friends and not lovers.

Maleficent only WISHES she could have such a relationship, but look at her...surrounded by all those damn monsters…sigh. Poor bitch. If only she had gotten laid… She was a fine piece of ass. You don’t believe me? Watch the movie again sometime, that bitch has it going on!

Let’s see...are there anymore obvious lesbians in there…oh yes, Cinderella. Now, Cinderella is not a lesbian. Hey sisters-of-step on the other hand…they have it good. They don’t even need to leave the house for a bit of slap and tickle. Incest central, I swear. Petty, vain, bitches. I didn’t like them much. Cinderella is 100% straight, in my opinion, my gaydar did not go off when I saw her...pity too, she’s damn fine.

I can’t leave out Snow White and the Seven Dwarves! Now if ever there was an innocent looking slut…that girl didn’t even need to go and find a prince, she had it good with some amply endowed little men…a bit of fisting action there too…don’t you just love well-endowed bisexual midgets? Now that Dopey, he was really talented…everyone loves Dopey! Especially Snow White…When the prince came and found Snow White, he was surprised to find such a nest of debauchery in the woods. He thought the only debauchery happened in his castle. He immediately removed Snow White and all the dwarves to his castle so they could continue with their fun…

You read the whole page?

Wow.

All I have to say now is....sukebe.

(cue the oversized scary heads yelling "I AM NOT A PERVERT!")

^^ Hope you had fun during your lil foray into my deranged brain.