| 40. Scream a hello. 39. Light yourself on fire. 38. Call them on the phone. 37. Paint yourself blue. 36. Hold up a sign that says, "I WANNA TASTE YOU." 35. Become Marisol. 34. Become Sabrina. 33. Become Meredith. 32. Become Moon. 31. Become Sarah. 30. Send in a tape of your own "personal interpretation" of "Bent." 29. Send in the same tape...except naked. 28. Send them a PM. 27. Illegally cover one of their songs. (Note: Have plenty of money on hand to lose in court.) 26. Bake them a birthday cake. 25. Bake yourself INTO the cake. 24. Rob Specific: Dress yourself up as Paul. 23. Rob specific: Wear tight, wet leather with Beep Beep enhancing features. (He always pays attention to what the competiton is wearing.) 22. Rob Specific: Mail him a pair of $2 gold earrings. (He'll appreciate your bargain hunting.) 21. Kyle Specific: Send him a pack of guitar strings...made from your intestines. (Save the kitties!) 20. Kyle Specific: Keep screaming "HANG" over and over at concerts while moaning orgasmically. 19. Kyle Specific: Detroy all the razors known to exist. 18. Adam Specific: Dress yourself up as a gnome. Faerie tale magic capabilities optimum. 17. Adam Specific: Steal Kyle's pink glittery pants for him. 16. Adam Specific: If you're a kiddie, let Adam "do it" for you. 15. Paul Specific: Dress yourself up as Rob. 14. Paul Specific: Become CEO of Loreal, and offer him free hair dye for life. 13. Paul Specific: Become a Shetland pony with an appetite for sock hats. (Note: He may run away from you screaming, but at least you've been noticed.) 12. Brian Specific: Two words. Hair gel. 11. Brian Specific: Create a dance craze based on the Shuffle. 10. Brian Specific: Send him a set of golf clubs with Pookie-bear club warmers. 9. Attend a concert. In stilts. 8. Become an opening act for them. 7. Sue them for emotional distress after they wink at you at a concert. 6. Bedazzle their name onto your underwear. Moon them at a concert, or if you're Special_K, throw it at them. 5. Fly over their house in a helicopter trailing a banner that says, "I WANNA TASTE YOU." Or, if you're into a newer phrase, "I FEEL STUPID." 4. If you make it to a M & G: Have them sign a body part. Have your personal tattoo artist on hand to perform the permanent work. 3. If you make it to a M & G: Run around screaming that you can't believe that you finally get to meet Creed. (Note: This is probably the best way to get Jason to notice you.) 2. If you make it to a M & G: Tell them they light your fire, butter your biscuit, and rock your world. Telepathically. 1. Make a list like this and share it for the world. Or, if you are not the creator, actually do one of the things on this list. Do all 40 just to see your name somewhere on ET's "Top 20 Stalkers of All Time," and to gain a nice 40 year-long jail sentance. But you got their attention, RIGHT? :) You little stalker. We're so proud of you. |
| ©2001 by Rebecca J. Burke & Hashbrown Casserole for the Matchbox Twenty Soul, Inc. |
| 40 Ways to Get a Matchstick's Attention |