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Many people tell me that I am complicated, mysterious and secretive. Yes, I rarely tell people what I have in my mind. Not that I am trying to make myself an "enigma", it's just that I have too many too many plans in my head. And I have to plan ahead (so much ahead!!) what to do to reach those goals. It is not practical or even unrealistic for me to pour out everything in me to all people.

Everyone is interesting. But when a person hides himself/herself more than others do, then this person will have to become more interesting. Other people begin to think and analyze what are those factors that turn this person concealed, and how does he/she do it. I guess I am one of those "interesting" people. Well, believe me folks, I see myself as a very simple and ordinary person, yet many others don't...

The more people nag me, the more I clam up. When they ask me simple questions, my answers won't go far from "yes", "no", "maybe", to "no idea". When they ask me for opinions, haha... well, then my "opinions" are vague, ambiguous, and polished all the time. I call this "opening myself in moderation", but they call this "not cooperative". Hmm... And I always need some time to come out with an idea and throw it out with more appropriate words, then people will just think that I am over-complex.

“Flies don't enter a closed mouth” — a Spanish proverb, meaning troubles won't come to people who are cautious with their words. Your desires and weaknesses can be the strengths of others. The more they know of you, the more they know how to manipulate you. I thought being reserved could make myself a little more problem-free or safe. On the contrary, it brings me with more troubles...

I think I am one of those ants who marches everyday and differs not from others. I am an ant because I try my best to seek food every minute. (Of course, I'm vulnerable to inertia sometimes) I am not hardworking in nature, I work hard because I have to, but not I like to! I understand that there is no free lunch in life, and therefore, I must work! And I'm just 21, who am I to say working too much could make me sick. *Note: Without luck, sometimes / most of the time, no matter how hard you work, success will still not come to you...* Instead of hardworking, I prefer using "productive" to define myself.

Forgot when was it, I started to say that my biggest ambition now is to live with happiness forever.

Being happy is not easy, and never will it be... Family, friends, love, work, studies, religion, money, goals, fantasies, health, fame, power, sex, appearances... They all can bring you happiness in some aspects, and they can bring you to restlessness at the same time. You can be very driven and hyper because of them, and you can be let down because of them too.

Okay, you may say happiness is not hard to achieve (most probably because you are being happy now). Well, then how about forever? Hm! See~ A Greek philosopher Heraclitus states that “All is fire”, everything is an illusion. The only truth or unchanging reality is ceaselessness, which means things you once hold will not stay there forever... To me, it's sad, but true. Look at the wrinkles and gray hair on an elderly, I am sure you will understand what I say.

I have seen many people working hard in their entire lives but haven't tasted a bite of success. I don't want to become one of them. I want to shoot my goals. Talking of goals, I can tell you what they are, but I won't reveal the reasons or motives of why I have those goals.

Anyways, please don't think that I must have many evil ideas in my mind. No, I don't. I just want to keep everything I do now unnoticed. =)

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