RUPTURED
in spirals, the twirl
I see your face
I hate this world
its in disguise
life is in ruins
its all torn down
it will fall soon
no longer steady ground
leave it all in
to fester and rot
don't believe in sin
but felt it alot
LOST FOREVER
insanity; it planned me
superstition; life is twitchin
in the light; lose your fight
never died; soul just fried
heaven no more; felt it before
scar my eyes; sit and sigh
sin in spite; losing sight
keep your mind; lose the time
ANGER
it builds to be released
this pain inside never ceased
burning red must go
time passes too slow
let it out and tear it down
everyone around starts to frown
scare them away from it
they don't know how to handle this
never to ask from you again
they believe you live in sin
QUESTIONS
still unnerving, this unholy shit
I'm not learning, how to deal with this
I ask many questions, I get no reply
unknowing how to best this, my sanity dies
LIVING
I still don't know
how to go with the flow
I will remain in torment
until I learn to forget
these demons wearing me down
keep trying and asking
when nobody's laughing
all you do is stare and frown
NUMB
I have gone numb
to your fleeting cries
my mouth is dumb
as the time flies
don't ask me to help
or ask me to cry
no pain from you felt
as I slowly die
DIFFERENT
the audience is clapping
as we spit the words
while inside we aren't laughing
I'm bleeding for sure
nobody wants this
within their boundaries
we'll never miss
the tormenting melodies
GAME
burning inside my eyes
murmuring thoughts of suicide
can't bring all this pain together
can't think, mind light as a feather
fuck the problems
fuck the mistakes
I can't fight them
they all replace
what I feel bundled
the fuckin walls crumbled
I'm watching this movie
it's colors get to me
the name of it's "trapped"
it doesn't relax
it's funny how the name
resembles this game
CAN'T EXCEPT
everybody dies
nobody cries
I ask why
no reply
can't except
this shit
unnerved
undeserved
NO MORE
WON'T TAKE IT
help the world
save myself
let it twirl
can't except
LEAVE
the walls crumbling
inside voices mumbling
in myself I fight it
can't win, so I throw it
then I forget though
what I never really know
you came to say
with no smile, no play
I hate you all and
no more of this can I stand
get away from my blood
my thoughts about you flood
inside you leave me
outside you bleed me
inside I leave you
outside I kill you
no more love inside
no longer can I hide
fuck you, you sadistic
mother fucking peice of shit
fuck you, you resistant
sorry fucking corrupting bitch
FUCK
Fuck everybody against me. Fuck all of the politics. Fuck people who don't except others because they're different. Fuck people who make fun of disabled people. Fuck everybody who always think they're in charge. Fuck people who are too lazy to try anything. Fuck people who are always late. Fuck everybody who put off on their jobs. Fuck people who say fuck everything. Fuck people who don't say fuck everything. Fuck all of you mother fuckers. Fuck all of myself. Fuck everybody who hates the word fuck. Fuck everybody that cares about everything. Fuck everybody that doesn't care about anything. Fuck everything that makes your life fucked up. Fuck people you can't trust. Fuck people who lie about everything. and most importantly FUCK YOU!!
ALONE NOW
I'm alone in this world
here now all by myself
I sit still and there's no twirl
darkness sits still on the shelf
I want to look and find her
here to talk and laugh
still it gets even harder
to watch out for my own back
we get along perfect
as far as I can tell
every other day an argument
the occasional fight and yell
but we make it through
all the same, unchanged
?????
I feel in the numbers of darkness
I see in the face without light
I hear without being enlightened
I taste the blood of lost warriors
I smell the rot of our world
I keep the depression on skin
I steal from your life within
I hate without any feelings
I want from you and leave weeping
I need this life, there's no win
BOTHER
leave me here to find myself
stay here to help yourself
hate depends on your thoughts
love is not what you sought
forsaken in society's eyes
lost in insobriety's lies
you feel as thought it will
never leave you, it bothers still
ANGSTONY
I'm living up
no longer stuck
falling back down
no more false crown
keep going on
talking unknown
living for you
sitting still, glued
no more light
no more fight
I'm not alone
with broken bones
FUCK YOU IT RHYMES
unleaving, unrolling, unscrolling, unfolding
absentee, scrutiny, leave me
without life, leave me, take free
help this nirvana, smoking marijuana
smelling, spelling, unshelling
passionate fall, heart stall, thought maul
screaming, seaming, shooting out
shouting doubt, laugh it up
empty cup
life, death, melancholy,
shine, dim, burnt skin
pattern, design, flowing lime
rotting slime, ink portraits
memories forget
to decide, passing time
eyes scarred, heart's far
closing in, running out, fuck this
I'm stuck with shit
let it go, take it back
hold it up, balanced stack
INSOMNIA
sometimes I think, that I will never sleep
why my mind shrinks, sanity is something I can't keep
I think and thoughts fly,
never comfortable, keep moving
I move, sense waves goodbye
help me someone, sooth me
NEED
suicidal beings
pass my brain waves
life emotionless
gaining in stress
need another breath
upon your soft breast
don't leave me
can't see
DESTROY IT
fuck the lies, I don't care
behind your disguise, poison my lair
flow through this darkness, death and disease
society's shortsightedness, destruction won't cease
WANDER
I can't think
I can't breathe
something out of sync
and this won't cease
don't know this feeling
it's fuckin always with me
no more believing
I can't see
where it's coming from
and where does it lead?
look into the sun
my eyes start to bleed
I'm lost and I'm wandering
lonely and confused
looking and not laughing
sanity I lose
so many doors and so many paths
all of them blocked
tired of my fluttering past
time ticking on this eternal clock
FELONY
inside my mind is a darkened place
it's ripped up; a blood covered disgrace
looking at my disgusting madness
makes me see my unloving sadness
I don't know where to turn
all my objects I've burned
and ran away from this to hide
but I'm always followed by my crimes
DEPTH
feel the swirl of life devine
and sink into the blue abyss
let the fluid wrap and bind
while you drink eternal bliss
instead of wondering about end of days
and worrying about your financial locks
feel underwater winds blow it away
nothing there now to make your block
DARK ROOMS
my writing improves with time
flowing from my manipulated mind
I may change one day and reverse
but now I will deal with my own curse
I will stand up while my lightning strikes
and take my beating with my dull spikes
holding my hands in my withered ball
no matter what, I make myself fall
when it feels too strong to take
my muscles will tighten and I make myself quake
I will never give up and blow myself in
I will always try harder to live with my sin
I can't allow my insanity to grow
why I stay proud I will never know
nevertheless I want it to consume
I hold myself strongly inside my dark room
CONFUSE ME speaking softly in foreign tongue feeling nothing but broken love drain it out of your blackened skin feel the sting of unloving sin remembrance forgotten in brain waves seasons changing under the work of slaves slowly suffocate in an open field shards floating of the broken shield winds swirling and earth disrupted water evaporating as the fire stops abruptly boredom reaches your sight of smell feathers falling off the small, quick quail fall down to the dirt and sky wondering if this is what it feels like to die