Hollywood's Walk of Shame



The following is a list of the films Paris has appeared in, leading her to believe that she's an actress:

Wishman (1992)

A genie is released from his bottle and finds himself homeless in Beverly Hills. Sounds fascinating, no? It was quite a stretch for Paris to play a citizen of Beverly Hills, a very difficult challenge for her very first movie role. Paris played "girl on the beach" and had no lines. Nicky was also included in the cast and had no lines. I am going to go out on a limb here and assume neither of the girls had to audition, and I as unable to find any formal reviews of this piece of crap, as it went straight to video less than 30 days after its release.

Sweetie Pie (2000)

This film was described as "a modern-day morality film about a group of kids who've had too much, too soon." Can you say, 'long afterschool special'? Paris played, you guessed it - a spoiled brat. Like 'Wishman', I couldn't find any reviews or further information about this film on the internet; when I entered 'Sweetie Pie' into any search engine I was directed to a site for an X-rated film of the same name, which is an omen if I've ever come across one.

Guest List Only (2000)

Paris played herself in this no-name film. Quite a tough role, good thing she was only on screen for a few seconds.

Zoolander (2001)

Paris had a cameo as...you guessed it - herself! Her chameleon-like ability to play such a wide range of characters astounds me.

Nine Lives (2002)

This poorly reviewed piece of trash had the following fascinating plot: nine college friends reunite at a Scottish mansion which is haunted by a ghost named Murray whose eyes were cut out and fed to him. Eek, scary! Paris plays a rich, snobby bitch who is killed off by her boyfriend after he is possessed by the previously mentioned ghost. If this wasn't the most awful movie I have ever seen, it's right up there; no one in the cast could act their way out of a paper bag. Paris, a spoiled, irritating bitch, was playing a spoiled, irritating bitch, and she failed miserably at even that. She read her lines in a monotone, as though she were speaking in a foreign language.