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18th December 2003: How we coped without mobile phones, I will never know. Being stuck here in my poorly heated student garret, contact with south coastal matters is sporadic and dependent on hijacking University computers and responding to the vagaries of the small vibrating thing in my pocket. If you read Chris Hardyman’s article for this fanzine’s predecessor ‘From Jubilee To New West Leigh’ on following the Hawks via teletext and the BBC vidi-printer, you will remember his difficulty coping with the moments between the updates. It is much the same with the joy of text. Ordinarily a vibration in the trousers would be more than agreeable, but when occurring during a known period of Hawk activity it provides a moment of unease. Like a Pavlovian dog, I have come to associate the buzz of my mobile with all things Havant & ‘Ville. Whether you be shopping in Liverpool, doing a late lunch out in Sheffield or standing with the Rochdale faithful as their team slip to a 1-0 defeat to Kidderminster (activities which I have undertaken in recent weeks), receiving the thigh-tickling wake-up call signifies the occurrence of a consequential incident. Of consequence to whom though, you think as your heart momentarily stops beating. Do you look? Or do you leave it, after all, this call could signify distinctly bad news and, being a Hawk of a few years standing now, I now tend to err on the side of caution, despite my usual pre-match rose-tinted positivity. Of course, I always end up looking. You have to. You just can’t leave that knowledge lying dormant in your pocket. After all whoever has sent it has spent some of their money for me to be able to be kept informed of the latest developments at WLP or wherever we have ended up on our travels in the DML this season. This indeed could be great news, devastating news or perhaps, god forbid, NOT RELATED TO FOOTBALL AT ALL. On a Saturday afternoon? Bastards! I’m trying to focus on the important things here! However, more often than not, it is relative to the momentous matters at hand. Needless to say, especially if you are stood on a foreign terrace amongst strangers, it is essential that you keep the emotions contained within the nature of the text to yourself. It is no use letting out a triumphant ‘yes’ as a beacon to your neutrality. What could be more important than their team’s cause? So what ‘something else’ is causing you to scream with joy? So far, I have had no problems containing myself but in the nature of such an occurrence, I am ready armed with the ‘I’ve just become an uncle’ excuse. Which would indeed be quite a feat for an unmarried only child, but they need never know that. Of course, it doesn’t always work like this, especially when you manage to forget to turn your phone on at the right time as occurred a while back when, 300 miles away, our mighty troubadours were taking on Tiverton at home. Suddenly remembering at 5 o’clock to turn on my phone, I experienced all the highs and lows of the topsy-turvy 90 minutes in approximately 30 seconds as the 5 texts came at me like a lifetime flashing before the eyes. In a world of fast food, instant coffee and the like, this seemed an appropriately chaotic and exhilarating way to replicate the at-game fan experience of a last minute 3-2 win. No good for the blood pressure though, I can assure you. Not that mobile phones are only useful for the texting. Some of you may know that Dave Tremlett, who is often to be found on the West Leigh Park terraces, is also a far from closeted Leeds fan. Once I’d informed him that I’d got myself a cheap £10 Carling Cup offer price ticket to visit the Theatre of Debt, he made a particularly odd request. He asked that I call him and record the Leeds fans singing ‘Marching On Together’ onto his answer phone. Due to crowd congestion problems I ended up being 15 minutes late but had missed no goals and as they were just putting people anywhere I ended up among the suits on the padded seats with carpeting. Not bad for a tenner, although I got some strange looks! More than usual, anyway. However as it got to the 75th minute with Leeds trailing 2-0 to second division Swindon, I feared that the Elland Road faithful would be far from in good voice for the remainder of the game, and so my mission would be unfulfilled. Well, I guess that’s what supposed ‘consolation’ goals followed by injury time equalisers by yer goalkeeper are for. Cheers Paul Robinson, Mr Tremlett thanks you, as while the Swindon fans had been struck dumb, the several thousand strong Leeds choir could probably have been heard in Lancashire. Job done! Add to this a penalty shoot out won by the home side and getting lost on the walk home, it was indeed quite a night, and possibly as good as you could ask for as a neutral. And I thought seeing Farsley Celtic beating North Ferriby United 5-0 the night before had been pretty good! skif Leeds Branch back to index |