| quote | quoter |
| "If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either." | Me |
| "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." | Ozzy Osbourne |
| "The Blizzard of '78 was so bad, 100 people went outside and 30 came back in. They just died." | Dick Cavett |
| "You guys line up alphabetically by height." | Dan Quayle |
| "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." | Baseball Player |
| "They misunderestimated me." | Mark Twain |
| "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." | Al Gore |
| "[Beep]in' bloody [beep] [beep] bastard!" | Baseball Coach |
|
"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." |
Britney Spears |
| "I invented the internet." | Mr. Stepp |
| "If I owned Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent out Texas." | Jason Kidd |
| "You piece of ralph." | George Bush |