11. The European American

It's huge! I can barely get my arms around the thing but somehow I manage to wrestle it down the ally-way from the trash bin behind the Italian restaurant and up the back stairs and into my room. It's a chipped and scarred plastic head made to look like it's an antique from the Renaissance. I set it in the middle of the room and gaze upon it for a spell. Noticing that it's completely bald, I say to myself, "I wonder who this was supposed to represent -- Nero?"

I run my hand over the surface of the thing. I decide, "This is what I want, but it's not quite right."

I think about this for a while, "How can I make it 'right'? I know! I'll 'Modern-Americanize' it, that's what I'll do!" And I spend the rest of the night working on my new head. I cover it with colored wire -- red, white, blue . . . and green!

"That's better," I say. Then I go into my kitchenette. I open the refrigerator. I take out some frozen pizza and a beer.

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