|
Do Men Self-injure? |
| Many research papers will state that SI is more common among women. Part of the reasoning for this is that men are more likely to express strong emotion such as anger outwardly. I must say, however, that I question exactly how much of a gender difference there really is in SI. After researching this subject, I have come to the realization that I have known many men who self-injured as well. I believe that it is more culturally acceptable for men to self-injure. It is macho or cool. And when it is not viewed as cool or macho, people merely scoff and shake their heads, stating that these men/boys, are just being stupid or immature. I find that men self-injure differently, more violently. Yes, they do punch themselves and throw themselves against things, but I find their cutting is different. Women usually cut superficially, just enough to see some injury, some blood, and find release in that. Men, however, seem to all out stab themselves with knives, and may even twist the knife in the wound for extra effect. Why do they do this? It is believed that because men are socialized to not display any emotion, they are protected from being criticized for what they feel, and therefore have no need to turn their emotion inward. I put it to you that this is faulty and wishful thinking. Yes, I know that I am venturing into an area where I can be royally stomped by all those professionals with degrees who state otherwise, but I put it to you to think of this: Does not the very socialization of repression of feelings itself not teach men that most of their feelings are wrong? Invalid? In fact, doesn't the mere fact that they aren't even permitted to attempt to show feelings indicate that their feelings are inherently wrong? That they can't even be trusted to even attempt to deal with them? The literature indicates that the severity of the wound is proportionate to the severity, the intensity of their repressed feelings, and their anger or self-loathing, or guilt/shame. If this is true, then I put it to you that stabbing and twisting a knife in a wound would indicate a deep disturbance, and should not be ignored or glorified as socially accepted behaviour. Women are still expected to be ornamentation, the image of perfection. It is not acceptable for us to be marked in any way, or to show any "unsightly or ugly" behaviours. No sir, no undesirable emotions for us! Men are still expected to be strong, unbreakable, unflinching, and unfeeling unless we tell them exactly when and how to feel, and for how long. Men are told that scars are something to be proud of, to be fondly called "battle wounds." And because men/boys are quite often involved in sports and trades which are frequently injurious to their person, they need not even try to hide their injuries, as if they are ever even questioned, they are easily explained away. We are slowly growing up as a society, but we are definitely having growing pains. I am all for equal pay, and equal treatment, but in our quest for these things, let us not forget that men deserve equality just as much as we do. |