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Grieving for Pets, Part I
by Traute Klein, AKA biogardener
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A funeral or memorial service and the hope for a reunion in heaven will lessen the pain of losing any friend, including a four-legged one.
Pets Are Family Members
Two years ago, on a pets forum, one member had just suffered the loss of her beloved cat, when she posted a question which I am sure we have all asked at one time or other, "Will I see my cat in heaven when I die?" Most of the answers were evasive. One however was definite, and I have not been able to forget it, because it was cruel beyond description. The person who posted that answer used the Bible to hit a poor grieving woman over the head. I tried to comfort the woman by email, but unfortunately she had posted a fake email address and my letter was returned as undeliverable.
Our grief at the loss of a loved one is minimized by the expectation of a future meeting in a better life. I do not intend to enter into a theological discussion on the subject, in fact, I never argue about questions of faith. If your heaven, however, is a place of love as mine is, then your pet will be there. No one needs to explain that to me.
Pet Burials
I understand that the pet cemetary businesses are making a whopping profit. To some people, it is important to be able to visit their departed friends in a respectable resting place. I prefer to dig the grave and bury each pet myself. I would also like to be buried like that by the people who love me and in the soil which I love, but I understand that the laws of our country do not allow private burial.
A Place of Final Rest
Some children in my neighborhood refer to me as "the lady who burries dead birds." It started when one little boy brought me a dead robin which he had found in his yard. We buried it together in my garden. I have lost track of the number of birds and fishes buried there, but I do know where every cat rests, because those cats were family members, and each one left a deep hole in someone's life. Every one of those cats has had a proper funeral service, and in lieu of a gravestone, a tree was planted to mark the grave.
Unfortunately, when the City of Winnipeg demolished my garden in 1998, the burial sites of our dear friends were desecrated. Three of the trees of remembrance were cut down by the huge front-end loader which also removed much of the soil which covered the bodies. All through the demolition, I was worried that the bodies would be exposed. Thank God, the digging did not go quite that far. It did, however, miss the natural gas line to the house by just 5", a line which was buried 3 feet below the surface. The cats, however, remained in their final resting places undisturbed. Other animals did not fare that well. Even now, more than two years later, I come across exposed bones.
Let's Celebrate a Funeral
What do we do at a cat funeral, you ask. We share with each other the good times which we experienced with the pet. We may even sing a song. At a previous cat funeral, I sang the first song which my son Arno made up while taking preschool Yamaha music lessons. He wrote about his Miezi (German for pussy cat), the creature whom he liked to call "his sister."
 Come outside my pussy, please come outside now. If you don't come out right now, I will play alone.
I only invite children to these memorial services. They have not yet learned to reason away their pain at losing their best friend. Our little ceremony gives them a chance to acknowledge their true feelings and to experience healing. And after such a service, even I as an adult find myself better able to cope with the loss of the beloved friend.
Related Links
Part II of this articleThe poetry written by Joann, the daughter of one of my Internet friends, Lilo, in memory of two animal friends, her dog, Jasper, and a horse named Star. Published with permission.
"My Glimpse of Eternity" by Betty MalzThe true story of a woman who died after severe blood poisoning. She went to heaven and was sent back to earth. She reports that she saw animals in heaven. The link to this book was not working when I last tried it, but you may be able to find it in a library through the title and author's name.
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