Parent's Dictionary
AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to let her husband near her again.
BOTTLE FEEDING: Opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 a.m., too.
DEFENSE: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let de children play outside.
DROOLING: How teething babies wash their chins.
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order desert.
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME: What you call your child when you are mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
LOOK OUT!: When it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
OW: The first word spoken by a child with older siblings.
PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
SHOWOFF: A child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
STOREROOM: The distance required between supermarket aisles so children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
TEMPER TANTRUMS: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset your children.
THUNDERSTORM: A chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.
TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
TWO MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: Able to whine in words.
WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house.
WHOOPS: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".
Created by Barb 1998 and 1999