Lesson 13 - Improving Your Home Life
If your home life is in shambles, or perhaps just strained, it is difficult to function well in other areas of your life. A strained home life will affect your work, your relationships with others, your studies, literally everything. In marriage, it is important to remember - You reap what you sow! In other words, you will get out of the relationship exactly what you put into it. Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. How Husbands Damage The Spirit Of Their Marriage When the spirit of the wife is wounded, the spirit of the marriage is damaged. A damaged spirit will affect the other aspects of the marriage. If a husband tries to restore the other areas without restoring the spirit of the marriage, he will only produce deeper wounds. 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Ten Ways Husbands Damage The Spirit of The Marriage 1. Failing to love, honor, and cherish his wife more than every other woman, job, or hobby in his life. A wife knows when she is not number one in her husbands life. His failure to give her first place in his life (after God, of course) is a contradiction of God's design for marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:32-33 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; * When a husband is preoccupied with other people, possessions, or activities, his wife doubts his love and becomes insecure. Gary Smalley cites this as the #1 thing women need from their husbands - just to know the have first place in his life. (Recommended reading - If Only He Knew & For Better Or Best) How To Make Your Wife "First Place" - Establish a regular date night - Make surprise appointments for lunch - Call her occasionally from work (just to talk) - Help with the dishes - Allow direct access to her phone calls at work - Be enthusiastic and attentive to her and the kids when you return home. This should be an exciting event. - Meet her deepest needs by providing times for intimate conversation - Be intimate without sex - Practice good manners 2. Neglecting To Provide Spiritual Leadership A wife wants her husband to be a man of prayer and of the Word. Spiritual leadership is not determined by where a husband is in his Christian walk, but by what direction he is going. God wants us to be in a continual attitude of seeking Him. 2 Chronicles 26:5 And he sought God in the days of Zechariah, who had understanding in the visions of God: and as long as he sought the LORD, God made him to prosper. The most important way to demonstrate spiritual leadership is to stand up for scriptural convictions and refusing to compromise Godly standards. * When a husband shows a lack of interest in being a spiritual leader, his wife feels insecure and unable to place her full confidence in him. 3. Announcing changes and moves without giving his wife adequate time to mentally prepare for them. A wife finds her security and fulfillment in wisely managing her home and family. She needs time to prepare herself for a change in these areas. She needs to mentally move before she physically moves in order to maintain the management of her priorities. She also needs to be a part of such decisions as changing employment, finding a new home, rearranging the furniture, remodeling the home, and taking a vacation. * When a husband does not give his wife sufficient time to rearrange her mental and emotional frame of reference for changes, she becomes insecure, apprehensive, and bitter. 4. Making unfavorable comparisons with other women. Wives are extremely alert and sensitive to what their husbands look at. God has many warnings and admonitions to men to control their eyes. When men look lustfully (or even just take a long look) at other women or sensual magazines, they are saying to their wives, "Physical attractiveness is more important to me than inward character, and other women please me more than you do." Proverbs 5:18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Proverbs 5:20-21 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man [are] before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings. * When a husband admires the appearance or abilities of other women, his wife is deeply hurt, becomes jealous, and begins to reject herself. 5. Lacking inner discipline to control anger and impure habits A man who cannot control his temper is as defenseless as a city with the wills broken down. (Proverbs 25:28) Anger damages the spirit of a marriage and relationships with the children. When a man becomes frustrated with his wife for any reason, unless it is taken care of, it will turn to bitterness. Paul exhorts : Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love [your] wives, and be not bitter against them. Sometimes a man's frustration with himself will cause the same problems. Impurity in a man's life may show up as misdirected anger, or a short fuse. * When a husband lacks discipline over anger and displays moral weakness in his own life, his wife's admiration and respect for him are greatly damaged. 6. Failing to recognize and praise "little" attempts to please him. A wife has a basic need for praise just as a man has a basic need for admiration. Women also tend to be more alert to, and concern for, details. Many wives will put special time, thought, and effort into little surprises for their husbands. If she makes a special meal, decorates a room, or finishes a job he has wanted her to do, and he does not even notice or express appreciation for her efforts, she will be deeply disappointed. * When a husband is insensitive to the special things his wife does to please him, she seeks admiration and praise from others, loses creativity, and looks for interests outside the home. 7. Attempting to correct in public The worst way to correct your wife is in the presence of others. There is a time and a place for discussing changes that you feel need to be made. However, if it is done in public, it does not correct the problem. Instead, it creates new problems. It damages or destroys communication. It is always unwise to complain about your spouse to others, especially family members. Never criticize your spouse to your parents. You only build walls. * When a husband’s uses jokes or cutting remarks to emphasize something he has been trying to change in his wife, the wife will experience new damage to her self worth, and she will desire to retaliate publicly. 8. Rejecting her opinion as unimportant. Many men have made disastrous decisions because they failed to listen to the warnings of their wives. (Remember Pilate's wife.) What most men fail to realize is that God will often give a wife special insight that He will no give to her husband. If the husband makes a decision contrary to his wife's cautions, he will usually pay unnecessary consequences for a wrong decision. Consult with your wife on major decisions. Even if she doesn't understand all the details, she may have cautions about the people involved or the timing of the decision. It is not wise to move ahead unless there is oneness of spirit. A husband loses twice by not listening to his wife. First, he may suffer the consequences of a wrong decision. Second, he damages the spirit of his wife. *When a man looks at his wife's opinions only from his perspective rather than from her immediate frame of reference, she is hurt and hindered from sharing any further cautions. 9. Disciplining the children in anger or inconsistency. The Bible gives instructions on how to discipline children. When these instructions are violated or neglected, the mother reacts and the children rebel. In Proverbs, God divides and defines the discipline responsibilities of the father and mother. The father is to give the basic direction or command. Proverbs 6:20 My son, keep thy father's commandment,... The mother is to translate the command into steps of action for the children. ... and forsake not the law of thy mother: The rules of the mother should clarify and illuminate the directions of the father. * When a father tries to give direction and rules to his children, his wife will often react to his insensitivity. * When a father gives a command and then fails to reinforce the corresponding rules that his wife gives to carry out the command, she will feel betrayed and blame him if the children rebel. 10. Refusing to acknowledge and to ask forgiveness of those who were offended. The two most often repeated complaints against husbands and fathers are that they lose their and rarely admit when they are wrong. The wife and children learn from his example in the home. His humility and sincerity will greatly influence their response toward him, toward each other, and most of all, toward God. Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. * When a father does not admit his failures and ask forgiveness for them, his wife and children react to his pride and lose respect for him.
Study Guide For "What The Bible Is All About"
by Henrietta Mears
Chapter 12 - Understanding Ezra and Nehemiah
1. These books tell the story of __________________________________. 2. To what nation were the Israelites exiled? _________________ 3. Who were the prophets during this time? _______________________ Can you name others? ________________________________________ 4. Jeremiah prophetically predicted the captivity to be how long? ___________________ 5. What statesman/prophet was carried away into the captivity? ____________________ 6. Two major events are recorded in these books. Zerubbabel rebuilt _______________, and Ezra rebuilt _______________. 7. What happened to the Northern tribes? ___________________________. 8. Who was the king who allowed and assisted the Israelites returning to Jerusalem? ____________ 9. Who predicted this event, even naming the king, 200 years earlier? _______________ 10. Where does the name ‘Jews’ come from? _______________________ 11. Why did most of the Jews choose to remain in Babylon? __________ ________________________________________________________________ 12. Upon returning, what did they build first? _______ Second? ______ Last? _______ 13. What impressed King Artaxerxes about Ezra? ____________________ 14. Under Ezra we see a revival of ___________________. 15. What problem did Ezra find among the Jews at Jerusalem? _______ _____________________________________________________________________ 16. _____________ is the most important privilege of the Christian. 17. What was Nehemiah’s job in the King’s Court? ___________________ 18. How long did it take to rebuild the wall under Nehemiah’s direction? _____________ 19. What brought great revival to God’s people? ____________________ 20. Nehemiah was a man of _________________. 21. Thus far, Jesus has been depicted as what? ____________, ___________, _________,___________, _____________, ____________, ______________, _________________,___________, and __________________.