"Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he
gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he
sticks his head out the window!" - Steve Bluestone
THE DOGGIE PLEDGE
* I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
* "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
* The computer's mouse is, unlike a real mouse, inedible.
* I will not eat the disposable diapers, especially the dirty ones.
* I will not play tug-o'-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet
* I will not eat any more socks and then re-deposit them in the backyard after processing.
* I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
* I will not chew crayons or pens, 'specially not the red ones so my people will think I am dying.
* I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
* I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her ear.
* I will not burn rubber through the open car window and into the fast food restaurant, no matter how good it smells.
* I will not throw up in the car.
* I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
* When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
* I must shake the rainwater out of my fur *before* entering the house.
* I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.
* I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
* The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
* We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
* I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
* My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
* I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
* The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
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