.What Would Jesus Do... About Grudges?

..Forgiving old hurts

Matthew 6:12,14-15 (NIV) "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."--

Funny how a little injustice, will grow up to be a full-fledged grudge. Why can't we forgive? We say "I could never forgive xxx," Years later we are still bound by the injustices.

"Why can't I get that noose from around my neck? As God exposes the magnitude of our old grudge. We begin to realize its fruitlessness. We haven't hurt them! In our attempt to even the score with them, we only hurt our self. The blame for our inability hangs around our neck, not theirs.

We need to confess the grudge and forgave the offender. Determine that you will no longer hold a grudge against them. When we are able to forgive we begin to forget about the problem.

The Trouble with Grudges

If we will think a few minutes, we will have to admit that a grudge is an blot on our life. What do we gain? Why not release that grudge now? Have you been hurt deeply? By whom? This injustice has ignited resentment in your heart? Your resentment turned into a grudge?

1. Grudges don't work.

When someone hurts us, we want to settle the score, get even. If we do not forgive the offender we try revenge, or decide to hold a grudge.

Revenge is our attempt to even the score. A grudge is revenge turned inward. But a grudge doesn't work. The person who hurt us may not even know how angry and bitter we feel. They may go on their way, oblivious to our pain. They are happy. WE are angry, sour, bitter. The irony in getting even is that we hurt ourselves; spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

2. A grudge grows like cancer.

Resentment spreads like a cancer. It multiplies its malignant tentacles. It spreads to the deepest part of our life. A grudge pours its bitterness into our entire being.

Soon we open the door for: envy, malice, jealousy, bitterness, gossip, and slander. We will stop at nothing to get even. Holding a grudge will eat out your insides! Eventually we can become a very bitter person. All because we refuse to forgive the one who hurt us. The price is too high. It's not worth it.

3. Grudges generate guilt.

If we have a grudge, we won't feel forgiven our self. People who hold grudges seldom sense that God is satisfied with them. You will experience guilt! We will not be able to put our finger on it. You think God is mad at you. You'll never feel fully forgiven and accepted by God. It is a universal law: Those who will not forgive, do not feel forgiven. Jesus Christ has already bought your forgiveness.

However, you inhibit your ability to sense God's forgiveness by holding a grudge. Are you holding a grudge? It is in pardoning, that we are pardoned.

4. A grudge binds you to the past.

Holding a grudge keeps life running on rewind. You relive the hurt over, and over, and over. You keep looking at some past injustice You recall how awful it was. A grudge binds you to your negative past. A grudge causes you to blame your present failures on past misfortunes. "If only THEY hadn't done that, then I'd not be in this jam" Releasing the grudge will bring happiness.

5. A grudge usurps God's rightful role.

The ultimate sin in an unforgiving spirit is that we take God's authority from Him. God, and God alone, can condemn men and women. Only God can hold another accountable for sin. Vengeance is His exclusive domain. When we refuse to forgive another we make ourselves Gods. Forgiveness allows us to turn this account over to the ultimate Collector of debts.

Insufficient Remedies for a Grudge

All of us recognize the danger of grudges. This leads us to try to remedy the problem. We try to treating only the surface problem. We don't deal with the deep resentment. Inadequate remedies:

1. Cover it over.

You don't escape the clutches of a grudge by trying to cover it over. Suppression will only lead to further poisoning of our spirit. We can't say, "I'll pretend it never happened," That would be like trying to cure cancer with aspirin. Covering up a grudge with soothing words will only submerge it, allowing it to spread unchecked inside you. Radical surgery is the need, not aspirin!

2. Forget it.

God is not asking us to forget the offense. We can't do it. He does -- but He does not ask you to do so. Your memory contains all the events of your lives. You could remember everything that ever occurred in your life. You can remember painful experiences and the feelings resulting from these experiences. When you fully forgive a person, you do not have the capacity to forget.

"Forgive and forget" is an ability beyond human You can choose not to dwell on it! When the devil brings it up again, you can quickly dismiss the event as forgiven. You can't fully erase the memory banks of your mind. You do have the power to refuse to think on forgiven injustices. Once an offense is forgiven, the time between your remembering will increase as time passes.

Eventually months, and years, will pass without a thought of the hurt. For all practical purposes you ‘ve forgotten it The difference: that file is now marked "forgiven."

3. Excuse it.

They were wrong! "If I forgive her it would be like admitting what she did was all O.K." God doesn't ask us to justify a person's sin -- only He can do that. He only asks us to forgive. Forgiveness can only be granted if the other person was wrong. Only in being wronged am I empowered to forgive. To forgive I must label their actions wrong. I can not excuse them. God calls us to forgive one another as God forgave us

Colossians 3:13 (NIV) "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

How did God handle your sins? God forgives us by condemning our sins, then granting a pardon. Condemn the injustice as wrong, then grant a pardon. Hate the sin, but love the sinner enough to forgive him or her!

So what about you?

Have you been hurt? Has someone been unfair to you? A parent? Brother or sister? Child? Neighbor? Teacher? spouse?

Perhaps a group or institution hurt you: a school, church, committee, board, youth group.

Have you fully forgiven these people? Don't harbor a grudge for anyone anywhere. Get this monkey off your back for good, today! You can decide that you are marking that debt "paid in full." You can do it. You can! You can determine that you will no longer maintain an "outstanding balance" with them. The debt is "history"... canceled... paid in full -- turned over to the Eternal Debt Collector.

Not because they were right Simply because you want to obey Christ and please the Father. He has commanded that you forgive others as His Father forgave you. Completely – wholly -- irrevocably

It's not a question of WHO'S right; it's a question of WHAT'S

Your injury was especially painful. At least begin to forgive? Be willing to be made willing? Is the Lord gently urging you to begin? Then start? Tell Him "Lord, I want to begin my recovery...and I shall not turn back until I have fully forgiven that person."

The Great Forgiver will help you.

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