Afraid to go into the kitchen she stops at the couch
lies quietly down
turns the television on.

She can feel IT inside of her wanting to come out

Scared to eat but genuinely hungry
she finally gives in.

Trying to think about what is healthy
fast to eat - she starts to cook.

At first she eats a few controlled tasted bites
here and there of this and that.

Then before she can think she starts stuffing, cramming
food into her mouth uncontrollably.

She doesn't realize what she is doing
or even why yet.

As suddenly as it started it stops and she Cries, "Will it ever stop?"
So full she could explode she vomits.
Hungry again and it starts all over.
She vomits again.

Dizzy and weak now she lies down.
Sleep is her only refuge from this nightmare.
Waking alone and scared it will happen again, she cries.
Deciding not to trust herself and ignoring the hunger within
she goes to bed feeling helpless.

It is something that she knows she will have to live with
for the rest of her life.

But then she remembers that somewhere deep inside
she has the ability to get it under control.

So sleep finally comes, and the new day arrives.

Rebekah Shanley, 1990