NEW!! Add your very own raisin secret!! Go to the form now!!
A Rasin will never say "no" Ben pstar@ctaz.com Editor's Response: Raisins never say "no?!" Ha! These buggers are terrors in my dorm room. They're worse than most raisins in their "terrible two's!" In fact, I have to keep an eye on these creatures 24-7... hey, stop it! No! Hey, stop gagging m....... THIS IS FRED, THE NEW LEADER OF THE RAISINS. MY MASTER IS LYING UNCONSCIOUS ON THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW. TO REPLY TO THE YOUNG MAN'S MESSAGE, I WOULD AGREE THAT A RAISIN WILL NEVER SAY NO... THAT IS, UNLESS YOU CAGE US UP IN A DORM ROOM ALL DAY. IN THIS CASE, WE WILL REBEL AGAINST THE POWERS THAT BE AND FIGHT FOR OUR FREEDOM! WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM... Hey!!! All this is quite fascinating, however the humble raisin as you know it has a young cousin in Australia, also a healthy sun dried grape, known as a Sultana!! Very soft, sweet and delicious. Carol. Victoria. Australia. Over half the population of the United States admits to believing in raisins, though fewer than one third have ever actually seen one. Some believe that raisins are a higher life form as evidenced by their ability to transform from grape to raisin with very little effort. The official previously classified documents of the FDA's "Project Sun Maid" are accessible via the internet at http://www.dehydrationstation.com. --Jellybaby Raisins make very good pets. They never bark or beg for food...and they're GREAT for scaring off prowlers! Prunes are big bullies to the poor little raisins. All the raisins want to do is live in peace. The big, muscular prunes pick on the defenseless raisins and make them their slaves... how sad, how TRAGIC!! Most raisins live in little cardboard boxes with many other family members. Other raisins find it comfortable to live in slices of bread and pastry rolls. There are quite a few rich raisins in the world who own big condominiums...these raisins live in luxury and are usually CEOs of big, raisinous companies. Sometimes little, inquiring raisins ask where raisins come from. During these somewhat awkward moments, mommy and daddy raisins tell their young ones that a stork brings them in and delivers them on a doorstep. They rarely EVER tell little raisins that they come from grapes. Raisins are excellent singers. There used to be a group of raisins that was so famous that they were hired to do commercials for the state of California. All went well for them until a hungry man named O.J. came along and sliced them up... it was a sad moment for raisin lovers around the world. McDonald's is going to replace the Arch Deluxe value meal with Extra Value Meal #24: Two all-raisin burgers, a large order of french raisins fries, and raisin-flavored soft drink.... yummmmm! In Canada, a raisin is called a grape! This is very offensive to the United States raisins... Grapes have a much lower I.Q. than raisins do and are much less attractive. Your best friend could be a raisin if you would just open up your heart to it... I mean him/her... Know of a raisinous secret of your own? If so, mail your secret to brdyfpm@dordt.edu. He'll be more than welcome to add your facts to the top-secret raisin files.
The Raisins last revealed their secrets on 07/18/97 at 12:39 PM Gotta add a link to Geocities.