O Christmas Pig,
O Christmas Pig,
How lovely are your droppings!
They're soft and moist, banana shaped
They let me know when you're feeling great!
O Christmas Pig,
O Christmas Pig,
How lovely are your droppings!

O Christmas Pig,
O Christmas Pig,
How lovely are your wheekings!
(The) Refrigerator door you hear,
You shriek until parsley appears!
O Christmas Pig,
O Christmas Pig,
How lovely are your wheekings!

O Christmas Pig,
O Christmas Pig,
How funny are your habits!
You popcorn when you're feeling fine,
You rumble-strut when you feel divine!
O Christmas Pig,
O Christmas Pig,
How funny are your habits!

O Christmas Pig,
O Christmas Pig,
How lovely are your manners!
You fling your poo in your pigpen,
I clean it out and you start again!
O Christmas Pig,
O Christmas Pig,
How lovely are your manners!

Christmas Pig,
O Christmas Pig,
How lovely is your purring!
Whilst being held I rub your butt,
You purr until you've had enough!
O Christmas Pig,
O Christmas Pig,
How lovely is your purring!