~ WARNING, the consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a jackass
~ WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash in your head
~ WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings likethish
~ WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 AM
~ WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your pants
~ WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember)
~ WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that your are tougher, handsomer, and smarter than some really big guy named Chuck
~ WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible
~ WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to think that people are laughing with you
~ WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small and sometimes large gaps of time may seem to disappear
~ WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy
