In March 1988 my life and the life of my family changed. I told you a little about it in the About Me Page. I will now delve a little deeper into this subject.
It was a beautiful day, my friend had stayed the night with me and we were taking her son to school. We bundled up the kids, 3 of my kids and her son. I had just had a baby and could not afford to buy a car seat, so I had my baby in the car seat and the others buckled up in the back.
I had just informed my daughter(4 at the time) that she had best not take that seatbelt off. This was a continuous fight with her, but that day she listened.
We were almost to the school, we got to a busy intersection and the lights were out. Most people treated it as a 4 way stop, I crossed one lane, looked both ways, twice, and pulled out. My friend said "Angela, we are not going to make it!" and SLAM, we were sideswiped.
The lady was going too fast for that intersection, she hit me going 45 miles an hour.(atleast that is what the officer said.) She skidded 120 feet before impacting with me, then pushed me 80 feet into another vehicle, she preceded to then skid another 120 feet after breaking away from me. I was in the other lane facing the total opposite direction by the time I stopped spinning. My daughter's head was trapped in the indention of the door and the car's backseat. She was not breathing. An off duty paramedic was there and she got to her in time, she was in a coma, but she was alive. Randy was screaming and they jostled him around from one person to another. Finally, we were sent to sit in the ambulance.
Inside the ambulance, two paramedics were trying to calm Randy and another one was working on my daughter. They handed Randy to me and I said "He is bleeding from his ear." They told me he was fine, but I insisted they check him out. One of them said "Oh my God! He DOES have a head injury" Then, they finally placed him on a backboard. By then we were half way to the hospital.
Randy is permanently brain damaged. He had a fractured skull starting on the left side and going all the way behind his right ear. My beautiful, smart healthy baby reverted back, he had to learn what most 2yr. olds already knew.
It has been 12 yrs, and trust me, it has not been easy. You see Randy is not a severe case, help is not in abundance. He gets very frustrated because he cannot do things a 14 yr. old should. I won't let him give up though. I will find him help yet. I won't give up either.
UPDATE: Randy has had a more definite diagnosis. He suffers from Intermittent Explosive Disorder, Traumatic Stress Syndrome, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Mild Mental Retardation. Though it doesn't sound like much progress, just to have the doctor explain to me what happened and why, is a big help. Plus, they are now working with different medications to help him become more stable. BIG STEP! Even he is relieved.
Randy's biggest barrier at this stage is his ODD. He is almost 18 now and he has ended up on probation. He gets very frustrated at school, and the special ed teachers get frustrated as well. One of them even asked me to explain ODD to her, I almost fell out of the chair. He has been in this school system since 5th grade and they are just now asking about his disorder? I fear for this child, he will be an adult soon. He is going to counseling, and he takes his meds better now. He does seem to be trying harder, but the world is a big place, and most people are not patient. What can I do to help him as he turns into an adult? I guess I will search for the answers and continue to love him.
Here are a few websites to check out, I will be adding more as I find them.
TBI Chat (This site is extremely worth visiting.)