First off, just a warning... this is REALLY long...

I ended up taking a nap with Clayton on Tuesday, March 23rd... woke up just about 3 p.m. Within a half hour, I noticed that my back was hurting and, after a little while, I realized that it was coming and going like my contractions with Clayton. I went about my day because once or twice before, I thought the same thing happened but it never lasted long. I went to my cousin's house for dinner and Shawn and his brother went to see Kanye West at a club near my house. All night, I kept saying that my back was really bothering me. Shawn never thought anything of it but my cousin had a feeling I was in labor. I got home from her house about 8 p.m. I think. I got Clayton bathed and put to bed and then I packed my hospital bag and got in the shower. It was around this time that I really began to think I was in labor. At 10:00, my cousin called to say she had heard from her husband. The concert, which was supposed to start at 8 p.m., still hadn't started yet. The guy had yet to show up and they didn't even know if he was going to show. I was starting to worry because the contractions were really starting to hurt. About 10:30, Shawn called to say that the guy just got there and he'd be home after... I still didn't say anything about the contractions... but they were really starting to hurt badly and I tried a heating pad, which helped some but not much. I tried relaxing and really wanted to get some sleep but laying down was really uncomfortable. About 11:30, I called Shawn and finally told him I was having contractions. I told him not to rush home but to know what was going on and not have too much to drink. About another hour later, I called him again and told him that he had to come home... he had just dropped his brother off and was just a couple minutes from home. He walked in the door and in the amount of time it took him to go to the bathroom, I had three contractions.. he told me to call the doctor, which I did. My mom, who lives upstairs, called a minute later asking if I was okay... she could hear me when I had my contractions. She came down and we left for the hospital. I was there by 1 a.m. and the contractions hurt SO badly.

When I was first checked, I was 2 centimeters... I wanted to kick the doctor! I said "you HAVE to be kidding me!"... They got me to my room and, by this time, the contractions were unbearable. They said I could have the epidural as soon as I made some progress but then my doc called and said not till I reached 4-5 centimeters. They gave me nubain, which didn't do anything at all... only made me loopy. I kept having 2-3 contractions on top of each other with almost no break between them... then I'd have a minute or two of a break. They hurt so unbelievably bad that I just cannot explain. It would start in my lower back and then circle around, covering my lower back and lower stomach... nothing helped. I would stand up and lean over the bed and Shawn would rub my back... that didn't really help but it seemed to hurt the least if that was possible. I was yelling with every contraction. Shawn said I was swearing but I don't remember that. I remember that I kept saying... "Jesus, God help me", "Why isn't anyone helping me", "I need a break", "I need to sleep"... "Jesus, God help me" was my favorite though. And I kept apologizing... saying that I was trying so hard not to be so awful... Finally, sometime in the area of 4 a.m., the doctor checked me again and I was at 3 1/2 or 3 3/4 centimeters... the doctor said, let's say it's four... it can be four if I stretch so they said I could have the epi and I said thank you about a trillion times...

The anesthesiologist came and I remember not liking her attitude much... it took a few tries to get the epi to work but I don't even remember why... when they finally got it in, I felt relief on the right side but not the left side... so they had me lean toward the left side and that worked... I was asleep SO quickly! That was about 4:45 a.m. Around 5:30 a.m., my doc came in and checked me and said I was 6 centimeters... he broke my water then too but I didn't even know that... I found out when I heard the nurse tell another doctor or nurse. Within minutes of the doctor checking me and breaking my water, I felt enormous pain/pressure and I started shaking violently. The kind of shaking where my jaw was going a mile a minute and I couldn't stop it... it only seemed like a minute or two and I was like... "This baby is coming NOW!"... they checked me and I supposedly had a tiny bit of cervix left but that disappeared while they were still checking me. At this point, it was barely 6 a.m.

I was SO tired and in SO much pain that I felt extremely overwhelmed and like I had no control over my own body... they were telling me to push and counting to ten but I was not pushing and when I did, barely made it to three or four. That was killing me... that the pain was so unbearable but the only way to get rid of it was to do the one thing that seemed to hurt worse... when all was said and done, I only pushed for 20 minutes. Once she crowned, she shot right out! They said she was out and I literally said "oh thank God!!"... one nurse said, here's your little boy... oh wait, I'm sorry, I mean your daughter... I was so exhausted and overwhelmed that I didn't even think about boy or girl until they said it... then I was in complete shock that it was FINALLY over and that I had a beautiful little girl.

While cleaning me and her up, the doctor started mentioning names, and mentioned names that began with C since I have a Clayton at home... one of the names was Cassandra and we both liked it and it seemed to fit now that we could see her pretty little face. She was 7 pounds, 13 ounces and 19 inches long. I heard someone say her apgars were 8 and 9.

This was, by far, the HARDEST thing I have ever done. I just cannot believe how painful this was and how different labor and delivery were with Cassie than with Clayton. I told Shawn... thank goodness it's a girl because I don't know if I'm doing this again... he told me that he gave me a year before I wanted another one...

This is what I can remember. It felt like 100 years but it seemed to fly by at the same time... but she is perfect and it was all worth it!!

Giving birth to Cassie was very rough on me but I wouldn't change it for all the world. I have a perfect, happy, healthy little girl. She is the perfect addition to my wonderful family!

Welcome to the world sweet girl. Mommy loves you more than you could imagine...