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journal 
Here is a journal of some of my thoughts, which may either provoke you
to further thought, amuse you or make you ask the question, "what am I doing with my
time reading this journal?" Whichever response this illicits, hope it will spur
you on to good thoughts.
"Fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable." Philippians 4:8
Topics :
Interior and Exterior Obedience - August 6, 1994
Life is like a roller coaster - Dec. 28, 1996
Watch Out for Manholes - Dec. 29, 1996
All Things Work Together for Good - October 29, 1997
King Manasseh's-to-be (streetchildren today) - June 15, 1998
Hurrying, Waiting - Feb. 28, 1999 Prayer Walk Reflections
Choose the Better Part - March 3, 1999
Interior and Exterior Obedience - August 6, 1994
The rich young man - Jesus directly asked him to sell everything and give these to the poor and follow Him. The young man couldn't. He loved his wealth, his possessions more than Jesus.
Exterior work of obedience is doing everything written in the basic laws in the bible, the ten commandments but interior obedience is doing what Christ asks you to do - this may not be clearly written down for everyone.
Peter did not have so much wealth as the young man yet he still left everything else to follow Jesus. I'd say he was a bit more trusting of the Lord. I can't really judge what Peter had in his heart but it seemed to me at the time - he was like complaining or boasting that they had left everything for Jesus but it could also be he was trying to find out what their chances were for eternal life.
Many people today have exterior obedience and feel justified
or feel "good" - yet what the Lord desires for each of His children is really
interior obedience - a melding of our wills with His.
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Life is like a roller coaster - Dec. 28, 1996
We had a wonderful time at an amusement park
today despite the long lines. Riding on one of the roller coasters made me think of
how it is so similar to life. There are times when it's smooth sailing, sometimes
it's scary, sometimes you want to get off and sometimes you feel it's too long.
Sometimes it's so exciting and so wonderful that it's simply too short. But
one thing is for sure. When you are totally trusting God, trusting the master
designer of the roller coaster ride, you get to enjoy the ride more. Life without
the endless knuckle gripping worrying is much more enjoyable. Everybody goes through
ups and downs in life but why do people have different experiences and reactions?
Attitude, faith, letting go. Letting God work His way in us is best.
Wheeeeeee!
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Watch Out for Manholes - Dec. 29, 1996
"Blessed are
they who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways" Psalm 128
Of course a person is blessed when he doesn't sin or when he walks God's ways
because he is doing what he was made for and not doing what he wasn't made for. For
example, a father tells his daughter, look for the right and to the left before crossing
the street. If that daughter fears he father and walks in his ways, she probably
won't get run over but if she doesn't, there are more chances she'd get into an accident.
The same with us, our disobedience doesn't always mean we get punished by God but
the punishment comes naturally out of the consequences of the act of disobedience.
That's how much God loves us. He warns us ahead of time about all the
"manholes of life". All we have to do is to listen carefully so we avoid
all these. We don't need to question "why not?" all the time but trust in
His infinite love for us.
Added Note: I sometimes think of all
the people who contracted AIDS because of a certain lifestyle they have which is an
absolute no-no in the bible. I would hear people say that this is God's judgement
and punishment for them. I think differently. I think God put those warnings
in the first place because since He made us, He knows that our bodies were not designed
for that kind of lifestyle. It was never meant to be. AIDS was never in His
plan for us but since we decidedly didn't avoid that "manhole", the disease has
been passed on to so many - even innocent children. There are so many things that we
know not the reasons for, but if we only keep to God's ways, we and the people around us
will surely not fall into the manholes of this world. Still, the good news is that
even if we fall, God's right there to scoop us out.
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All Things Work Together For Good (Romans 8:28) - October 29, 1997
"And we know that in ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love Him, those called according to His purpose." Not in some things, not most things, but ALL THINGS...
I've been hearing a lot of horror stories
lately. Someone in our community was murdered by "labor forces" due to his
job. Another had a younger brother who was kidnapped and killed despite them paying
the ransom. So many stories of tragedy and God says - He works for good. Just
like my brother-in-law Jing who was taken away so early due to Melanoma (cancer of the
skin). Sometimes I think this is purposeless pain and suffering. Yet again, so
did Christ's death seem to many who saw Him that day. All He had to do was come down
from the cross and everyone would've worshipped Him. No, God never chooses the
easiest way for Him (or for us). He chooses the most LOVING way. We must trust
that the God who gave His life for us is the same God who takes loved ones away - for some
unseen purpose.
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During one retreat, we had the chance to
wander off on our own to spend some time in quiet reflection. I was led to sit
beside a little patch of soil with which I felt the Lord used to speak to me. To put
into words what I felt He was saying - "You have lots of dreams, ideas which you will
just have to work at. Like this little plot of ground in front of you - it seems so
unimportant - just one plot of ground. But it can be so many things if worked at - a
place for flowers, a home for animals and insects, nourishment to plants around and it can
also be nobly used to grow fruit and food or it may remain as it is. It is only up
to the owner of that plot of ground. So you too have to work at your dreams
alongside your "owner" - "gardener" - "Father" who also has
dreams and plans for you and will do with you what He wills for your life."
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February 28, 1999, Sunday -
Prayer Walk Reflections
We had a prayer walk today - basically a whole group of us got up early (6:15 a.m.) and picked a beautiful garden at our State University called "the Lagoon". We each spent time to walk around and have personal prayer in the calm and peacefulness of the trees, grass, and morning air. Before starting, our coordinator Andy talked about how in our world today, it's so difficult to pray due to the lack of time, the noise, the everyday demands, and we are always in a hurry. So it was an wonderful opportunity to just pick this time and offer it to the Lord.
1) "Hurry is not of the devil.
Hurry is the devil." - Carl Jung, famous thinker and philosopher
Hurrying is a big part of my everyday life - specially work. It is the staple
ingredient of my day. It makes up for more than half of my emotions when working on
a project. Lord have mercy on me and help me to slow down! To rely on You and
not to hurry!
2) Everything God has made WAITS. Waiting is always God's way. Everything growing waits. One cannot see growth right in front of your eyes - but minute by minute, growth is happening. Grass, trees, leaves, living things change and grow but one cannot see it happen. One has to do the long wait.
3) The glory of God is shown well by His creation. The trees in front of me, the grass underneath me. They all reflect well God's awesome power, majestic beauty, the richness of His ways, as well as the intricacies of His divine nature. He did not hurry in making this tree's bark - it is so detailed, so "weathered" through time. The tree in its fully being a tree reflect well God's glory - no part of it turns me away from God, but everything in it - undefiled as it is brings me closer to God.
4) What more if I had a holy existence - no part of me unredeemed - I wouuld truly reflect God to others! If only I could do to people half of what this tree was doing for me! If upon seeing me, they would marvel at God's goodness - such would be my joy!
5) The longer the wait, the stronger. I hate
waiting. And I don't like being unsure either. I'm what you can call a
"segurista". But if I look at trees and say, this tree should grow up
fast... what if a storm comes and it is destroyed early in its life, never to have been a
big, powerful, fruitful tree? But God says, "THE LONGER THE WAIT, THE
STRONGER." The longer the tree waits for time to deepen it's roots, strengthen
it's branches, and propel it to growth, weather all kinds of storms, heat and dryness, and
all kinds of "torments", the stronger it will stand.
Matt 17 "His face shone like the sun,
and his clothes became as white as light" My prayer reflections today come with
a personal prayer to all of you who have shared in it. That the Lord may transform
your life, be it a life of hurrying and uncertainty, to a life of faith and joyful
waiting.
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June 15, 1998 - 1 Kings 21:1-16
King Manasseh was 12 when he became king and he reigned 55 years. He could've been a great and wise king beloved by all - and one whose memory was held dear but what did he leave behind - evil in the sight of God and men.
Today I saw very young boys much like Manasseh's age when he became king - sniffing rugby on EDSA. But unlike Manasseh, these boys did not have power or influence or wealth to choose another path. They think it's the only path they have - the path to self destruction. They do not sniff hiding in some corner - but in plain sight. Why? Because it is a cry for help!
Did I help them? No, like hundreds of commuters today I just whizzed past them. Lord, forgive me! Just like Manasseh, these boys could grow up to do evil - so much evil to others and to themselves! Lord, show me how to love them - help me to do what needs to be done!
Psalm 51 - For I know my transgressions...
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Choose the Better Part - March 3, 1999
Martha and Mary's story fills my head as I come into prayer today. Martha is very much like me in that she is results-oriented and wanting to be fruitful. Mary simply delights in the Lord and is filled. I try to fill my life with so much productivity yet I still feel empty at times - God wants me to wait on Him, to choose the better part - so hard to do!
Another reflection: Beauty is in diversity. I was
just thinking how God made so many beautiful creatures each so different from the other
and their beauty would spring forth because of their differences. If everyone was
the same, how totally dull a world it would be. God made the world colorful and
diverse, beautiful for man to enjoy and delight in, to explore and to ponder on, to be
made closer to Him.
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