For those of you just learning about my Surrogacy Journey, I better go
back to the beginning and share everything. If you are returning for
updates (when they start) please link to where ever you left off.
My surrogacy journey began before I knew it would. I have a very special
pen pal friend who for months was telling me about her own surrogacy
experience. She had a daughter and was beginning to search for her first
set of Intended Parents (IP) that she hoped to help by carrying their
child. I thought what she was doing was wonderful, but didn't think
much beyond that. In my mind I was thinking how I'd love to be a part of
something like that, but didn't think it was something I could ever do.
After awhile, I began to think more and more about it, as something that
could be for me too, but I still didn't know. I started looking around
on the web for information to learn more about the surrogacy process, and
if someone like me could do it. The more I read, and the more I learned,
the more I knew that it's was a world I wanted to be involved in.
I happened across a webpage of an Intended Mother (IM) searching for
a Gestational Surrogate (GS) to carry their child. Her story touched
me and from the moment I read it, I knew I wanted to help someone like her.
By the way, I am a "GESTATIONAL" surrogate. This means that the embryo
implanted into me, is completely that of the intended parents. The
Intended Mother supplies the Egg, the Intended Father supplies the
sperm. They are then combinded, made into beautiful embryos, and
implanted into the gestational surrogate. A traditional surrogate, which
is I am not, is a surrogate whose own eggs are used, and has a biological link
to the baby. This is either done through AI (Artifical Insemnation) or
an IVF procedure where they again combine both, then implant the embryo into
her. I personally am not a traditional surrogate. I have no biological
link to the baby. She is completly of her parents, that's why she had
virtually no hair. LOL!!
My true research started in December of 2000. I found many websites
with a wealth of information about surrogacy, and a loving community of
both Surrogates and Intended Parents. After learning so much about
everything involved in surrogacy, I told Fran my desire and after many
questions from him, I knew he was ok with it, which was a big deal
with me. He did ask me to wait until Kiana was a year old (August)
and after our family trip in September.
I joined some groups online for information, support and to find
friendships. I decided I would wait until summer to start looking for
my future IPs. I consulted different people on this, both surrogates
and IPs and everyone advised me that even though I wouldn't be ready
until September, I should start my search right away because finding the
right IP's, planning everything, all the testing and everything
that goes with the journey, could easily take the alloted time until
September. On this advise, I decided to start searching the beginning of
Feburary (this was January). As fate would have it, I didn't
have to search at all.
Why didn't I have to search?
Keep reading, as my story continues.
My first set of IPs, my first journey.
At one point it looked like we almost woudlnt' get to work together
and we were both upset about that. But at the time, they thought it
would be best if they went the Traditional Surrogacy (TS) route, and I
only wanted to do Gestational Surrogacy. I was there for her, though
I was also saddened to not be helping a wonderful set of people.
During this time, we had the opportunity to meet in person, when I went
near where they live for a vacation. What an amazing couple. We
had so much fun hanging out together. It was a chance for all of us
to really get to know each other, though it wasn't on the surrogacy
terms. But there were other plans for us. The short story of it all is
that after some time, they decided that we would use an Egg Donor (ED) with
me as the GS.
Our journey as it happened
Sept. 24--- Surrogacy on hold. What has been happening for the last
few months, is not much. What we had been waiting for, was an appointment
"D" had with an embryo specialists to see if her eggs could be
used instead of a donors. That appointment was the end of August.
What she learned was GREAT news, her eggs could be used, and not only
that, but that he wanted to try one last cycle on her before moving on
to a surrogacy. She was very surprised by that, and it was hard on her
as she had already accepted the fact that she couldn't carry, and
now they say she may be able to. It is something she has to do, which I
very much understand and support! She has started her meds this weekend,
I believe and is on her way. I, in the mean time, am waiting to
see what happens. If she ends up carrying, I will be so happy for
her and support her. If not, then I will be right there waiting to
carry for her!! Send good luck to her please!!
Nov. 10--- "D" had her transfer today!! She is trying to remain
optimistic. I've been wearing a green bead braclet as a good luck
charm for her. I pray it works!!
Nov. 19--- "D" emailed me today, saying she got a faint POSITIVE
line on an HPT. She is going to get another one and test again
before telling her DH!! I am soooooo thrilled for her!!!
Nov. 21--- "D" called me with her Beta today, it is 150!!!
Thank you for reading about my first journey.
I started a new journey, with new IPs!!
Please keep reading, if still interested.
New IPs, New Journey!
Dec 27th, 2001 - I had asked "D" to help me find some IPs, as she had once
said she would help me and she would be tougher on them than the MMPI.
She was still on an IP list and I knew I could trust her to help me
find the best IPs out there, short of them, of course. She posted
on her list that I was available on December 27th, I believe
and immeadately had people emailing her. She said she received
7 emails in just the first two days. From there she screened
them for me. She let them know that I would not abort or do
selective reduction. I wanted a close relationship with my IPs.
I wanted to be their friend, instead of a hired hand. If they
were still interested, and she believed they wanted the same
things, she would send them on my way.
I had two IMs contact me right away. "D" and I had liked both
from the first emails to her, and I started talking with both.
I won't get into the long story, as I got to know both IMs but it
became clear to me that I was going to have a very very hard time
choosing just one of them. I loved them both so very much, and I
didn't want to say no to either of them.
As I continued to get to know each of them, and even talked with
them on the phone, I had one set of IPs in my head, and one in my
heart. My head wanted to choose the one set for logical reasons,
one being they were closer. But, my heart wanted the other couple.
So, it was very hard on me, an inner battle really, that left me
quite drained. I met the one IM, the one my head said to choose,
and I liked her tons, but still my heart longed for the other.
They decided to come down to meet me, and I decided to show them
a great time. We started of with breakfast at the Animal Kingdom
Lodge, then Fran and I took them out to a day at the Disney parks.
We had a great time, but I'm getting ahead of myself. After breakfast,
Fran and I had some time alone and I told him they were the couple
I wanted to work with. Meeting them had only made that more
clear. I dreaded telling the other IM, but I knew I was right in
my decision, and I was happy about that. We spent the day in the
parks, Animal Kingdom, MGM and Magic Kingdom. On our drive over to
MGM, (they were following us in their car) I told Fran I wanted
to tell them that day, to make it special. Though I still had to
tell the other IM, I thought it would be more special for us all
this way, instead of waiting until a day later and emailing them.
So, we were in the Magic Kingdom early evening and I was getting
some ideas. After we rode some rides, and were heading to Tomorrowland,
I decided to take them by way of the Wishing Well. I handed
them both quarters and told them to make a wish. They made their
wish and was about to start to walk off, when I took them both by
their arms and I pulled them close. I said to them "I want to
make your dreams and wishes come true. If you'll have me, I want
to be your surrogate!"
It was truly magical. They grabbed me and we all had a huge hug
feast. My IM (WOW-- I HAVE AN IM) started sobbing uncontrobablly,
and I told her not to cry, but she said they were tears of joy.
My IF (WOW-- I HAVE AN IF) just hugged me and was speechless.
If I can't bring a big man to tears, the stunned silence was just
the next best thing!! We talked and hugged and hugged and talked,
then rode Space Monutain. :)
I am truly the blessed one here!! When "D" got pregnant on me, I
didn't know if I wanted to continue on, because I had found
this union that was beyond all words. A bond that though severed
on the pregnancy angle, will never break our friendship. After a
little while, I knew I couldn't step away from my journey but I
wasn't sure I would again find the bond that I so eagerly wanted.
I was really really wrong, and I am BLESSED once again with an
amazing couple to help achieve their dream of having a child!!
It would take me forever to tell you every detail of our journey over
the next 10 months, so here is a summary of the major events that happened
with us since that day we met in person in January.
After meeting in person, we decided to get things moving as quickly as
we could, since we were both ready to go. We agreed on contract details
and had the contract start to be drawn up.
The 24th of January, we (Fran, the girls and I) drove up to GA (where
my IPs live) for some prelimary tests. We had one heck of a long day.
Thank goodness for IF's mom, who watched the girls for about 15 hours
that day. In the morning, we had the doctors appointment, so their RE
could meet me, we talked about our cycles and when to start and got
everything ready. That evening we had an appointment with the pyschologist
for me to take the MMPI, and for us all to talk and make sure we knew
what we were getting into.
6th of February, started birth control pills, which starts surpressing
my cycle, so that they can control it.
14th of February, started Lupron. Lupron is a shot that you take, putting
into the stomach area (for me, most fat there). It also surpresses
my cycle.
1st of March, started estradiol. This also was done in shot form, because
(another long story) our cycle got pushed up sooner at last minute,
when a problem arrised with the lab. Estradiol was a shot that Fran
had the joy of sticking into my butt a few times a week. ;)
I also started progestrone around this time, perhaps a little before. I
don't have an exact date written down that I started it. The progestrone
was a HUGE needle, that also went into my butt. This one wasn't fun
at all, but I lived through them, and the bruises they left behind.
This is what gestational surrogates go through.
15th of March, a few days before the scheduled transfer of the 18th
of March. Things weren't looking good for the little embryos, and
my IPs were very worried. They wanted to do a genetic test on them,
but if they didn't grow more, than we wouldn't be able to, and we would
have to transfer next day.
16th of March, we transfered!!! We put back 4 embryos, because of
my IMs age (39) and because of the ok quality. A good quality embryo
would be around an 8 cell, no fragmentation. We had a 7, 6, 5 and 4
cell, with no fragmentation.
What begins next is what surrogates and IPs called the dreaded 2
week wait. Around 14 days post transfer, you get a beta test, to
determine if you are preggos or not. The higher the number, the stonger
the pregnancy, OR the more babies you have there. A beta number
should double every two days.
27th of March, 11 days post transfer, and first beta. It came back
at a 23. We would have liked to have seen at least a 30, so it was on
the low side, but a pregnancy, and we held out all hope.
29th of March, 13 days post transfer, beta of 26. We were all devestated.
My IF asked to do one more, just for our piece of mind.
1st of April, 16 days post transfer, beta of 144!!!! This was still
lower than most 16 day results, but it had went up, and went up a lot!!
We were thrilled once again, and wondered what the heck was going on.
4th of April, 19 days post transfer, beta of 577. Getting really
excited, and lab getting really sick of me coming in every few days!! :)
8th of April, 23 days post tranfer, beta 1770. This one didn't go
up very much, and RE was worried. I held out hope, and didn't give
up. RE wanted me in GA to do the first ultrasound himself.
10th of April, 25 days post transfer, beta 4124.
12th of April, 27 days after transfer we had our first ultrasound.
We SAW the baby, SAW the heartbeat, and HEARD the heartbeat. I am PREGNANT!!
Regular OB appointments on May 10th, 30th, June 10th, and 21st. June
21st appointment was for the glucose test, which came out fine, and
the AFP test, which came back not so fine. We found out later though,
that the lab used MY age, instead of my IMs age, which is what they
should have used.
3rd of July, we had a level 3 ultrasound done, to look closely at
the baby to make sure that there were no genetic problems that the
doctor could spot. He said not only does everything look good, but
that we will be having a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!
8th of August, another level 3 ultrasound, to look closely at the heart.
Everything looks great, and she is growing beautifully.
26th of September, had a regular OB appointment that IPs came down for.
I had to take the 3 hour glucose test, because my second one came back
one point high. We waited on the test results while we were there and
they all came back fine. I do not have gestational diabetes!
November 6th, I was working, and not feeling too well. I wasn't sick
or anything, just something felt very different. I didn't stay the
whole day, and left as soon as I could. On the way home, around 3:30pm,
I started having contractions. I had never experienced braxton hicks
contractions with my other pregnancies, so it was a new experience
for me. I came home and tried doing different things to stop them, and
they weren't stopping. I finally called my doctor around 7, as they
were coming along every 2 minutes and weren't changing any. He told me
to go in to be checked on. Long story short, I spent 4 hours in Labor and
Deliverym he didn't do anything to stop the contractions, but they finally
stopped on their own after I came back home. I am just to stay off my feet.
11th of November, regular OB appointment, IPs were here for. Doctor
thought that my fluid was low, so he sent me up for another ultrasound
so it could be looked at more closely. They said I had more than he
thought, so I went home.
13th of November, they call me in to have a non stress test done, just
to make sure all is well with myself and the baby.
15th of November, went in for another non stress test, and fluid check.
All is well, but I have no appointments lined up, so I have nurse call
my doctor to see when I am to come in next. She comes back and says,
"He wants you back here at 5:30am on Tuesday the 19th for an induction".
I was like "WHAT?!?" Very thrilled to have a date! Going to have a baby!!
And that brings us to where we are today.
Please read our birth story if you havn't already.
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