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ILL NATURE |
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| THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP | |
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Love is the natural human feeling. it is for these reason we see every man of attracted by an internal power to other member of his kind. Thus, this instinctive need must be full filled and every one must establish brotherly relation with certain individuals or group so as to benefit socially from such relation. Love is the foundation of security and comfort. it is the most enjoyable spiritual need which develops with time. There is not a more valuable thing in this world than love. The pain and suffering with result from losing a beloved one are most disastrous to man; spirits need other spirits for refuge or we would become torn in the hand of insecurity and anxiety, thus, becoming the victims of our own world's oppression. A certain scholar was quoted as saying in this regard, "The secret to happiness is to maintain brotherly relation with our world, instead of creation chaos. Those who can not love their own kind, can not live an anxiety-free and secure life". The ties which best bring the various elements of a society to each other are those which are built on true feelings and real love. Harmony which exists between two souls is what makes then unit in the worlds of love and unity. It is from here that the basis of eternal happiness stems. Yet in order for such happiness to survive, one must set differences aside and compromise with others in some of the issues which they rightly reject. The most valuable friendship are those which are not built on personal interest but are twin with the feeling of brotherhood and ate able to satisfy the human soul which needs lobe and comfort. A person who present him self as a faithful friend should not allow any factor to shake his feelings towards that calamities and pains which befall his friend's heart, and demonstrate to him the gardens of hopes and comfort. Those who ask for the love of others should have the ability to live then the same prior to living in the shadow of their emotions According to one scholar, "Our lives are like a mountainous area, whenever one makes a sound he hears the echo coming back at him; those whose hearts are full of love for others will experience the same from them. It is true that it is out material life that is built on exchange. We de not wish to say the spiritual life is built on the same basis, but how is it possible to expect faithfulness from others without being faithful to them? And how can one ask for love from others without loving them first?" Interacting with others can be very harmful if it is not built on love and honesty from both sides. If the nightmares of hypocrisy over takes the hearts and lives of men; if flattery replaces honesty and friendship, harmony, and sympathy will be weakened and the spirit of cooperation will be stolen from the society. Undoubtedly, many of us have met others in society in whose hearts lay no real love or emotions, they conceal their real selves behind the cover of love. But frequently we are able to reach beyond that cover to their realities and actual feelings, and as a result, our relationship with them results in the destruction of their masks. Indeed one of the prerequisites of happiness and an effective method of spiritual development is real friendship with righteous people. This is because personal thoughts develop under the shadow of such relationship, therefore, it is essential to carefully examine individual to be taken as friendship with any one whose honesty and purity are not verified-because man was created susceptible to the characteristic of others though his interaction with them. Negative relationships are a threat to the happiness of humanity. |
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| ILL-NATURE INDIVIDUAL ARE RESENTFUL | |
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Certain characteristic and unwanted habits weaken the ties of love and sometimes result in breaking up excellent relationship, Hot-tempered individual who are unable to keep the love of others, erect an indestructible wall between them and society, which prevents them from realizing the light of love. Ill nature, therefore, destroys the basis of happiness and devalues man's character. It is indisputable that bad manners keeps people away from each other, for man suffers from treatment of those whom he resents or can not relate to. Thus, bad manners force people to give up many abilities, which could be very useful in the path of their advancement in life had they been well-mannered. It is necessary for one who wishes to interact in his society to first realize the art of interaction, and after becoming familiar with it, put it to use according to the acceptable social rules. Without this process, a person can not live in harmony with his society, not can interpersonal conduct move towards perfection in such a society. Good conduct, therefore, is the main basis of happiness between people. It is also an important factor in bettering individual personalities. In fact, good conduct allow man to make use of his abilities and become effective on the general level of managing society, There is not another characteristic equal to good conduct in attracting the love and affection of others and reducing the pains which maybe faced in life. Those who enjoy such good traits do not manifest their sad sides to others, hence preventing them from reaching beyond their privacy. Such individual struggle to create a rainbow of happiness and affection around themselves to make those who interact with them forget their own miseries by giving them a sense of security, They also present their own security despite any trouble they may have, thus, increasing the chances of their success and victory. Good manners are a strong element in security success for many individuals. Needless to say, the success of commercial establishments is directly related to the good conduct of its employees. A manager of a company who enjoys good manner is usually active and attracts many vital connections to himself . In conclusion, good manners are the secret behind being accepted by others. People can not beat will ill-natured people survey would reveal the reasons behind the inclinations towards certain individuals over others. A western scholar recorded the following regarding his experience in this field: one day I decided to conduct an experiment on how my attentiveness and cheerful faces affected my life . Prior to that day I was sad and depressed; on that morning I left the house with the intention of being cheerful. I thought to myself, I have noticed many times that other's attentiveness and cheerful faces give me strength. I wanted to discover of I, myself, should be influential to others in the same way. I repeated to myself while on my way to work , my resolution to be attentive and have a cheerful face; I even convinced my self that I was a very lucky man. As a result I felt a sense of comfort over takes my body. I felt as if I was flying. I looked at my surroundings with a wide smile on my face; yet I still saw many faces around me on which the feature of sadness were apparent. My heart burnt for these people and wished I could grant them some of the light from my heart. "That morning I entered my office and greeted the accountant in a manner that he was mot used to. Prior to this I rarely smiled and never greeted him like this even if my life was on the line. The accountant could not help but greet me with warmth and great affection. At that moment I felt that my happiness had truly affected him. " "The president of the company where I work is the kind of man who never lifts his head to talk to others, he is very unpleasant. On that day harshly reprehended me, more that day than on any other day. I would not have put up with it; yet because of my decision not to let any incident bother me, I answered him in such a manner that made some of the wrinkles on his face disappear. This was the second incident that day. Later on that day I endeavored to keep my attentiveness and cheerfulness and pass them on to my co-workers." "As such I was able to practice this method with my family which resulted in positive consequences. As a result, I discovered that I can be active, happy and make others around me feel the same way. this is possible for you too. Meet people with this attitude, have a cheerful face and the flowers of happiness will bloom in your life, as roses bloom in the spring-time, and you will gain many friends who will bring peace and tranquility to you eternally." No one denies the great effect of this characteristic on softening the hearts of the enemies. Respect and good manners also play an important role in convincing one's opponents of the adherence to ideologies. Another western writer said in this regard: "all gates are opened towards him whose faces in cheerful and who enjoys good manners; while the ill-natured individual have to knock down doors to open them just like gangsters. The best matters are those related to kindness, good-manners and cheerfulness." Moreover, I would like to add that good manners necessitate happiness and lead good natured individuals to perfection, but only if such manners and traits stem deep from one's heart far from hypocrisy and pretense. In other words, the feeling of love must be a manifestation of what is in the heart, The outside appearance is not necessarily a reflection of what is hidden in the hearts of men. It is possible that some of the good traits of am individual contradict his disturbed and misguided heart. many are the devils who dress and themselves in the garments of angles, hence concealing their fearful faces under a curtain of beauty. |
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| THE PROPHET OF ISLAM: THE PERFECT EXEMPLAR | |
We all know that one of the most important factors of Islam's advancement was the perfect conduct of the Prophet (S.A.W). This fact is stated is the Holy Quran where Allah, the Al mighty, says: And had you been rough, hard hearted they would certainly have dispersed from around you. (3:158) The Prophet of Allah treated all people equally. His deep and indescribable love for humanity was perfectly manifested in his angelic being. He attended to all Muslims' needs equally. And the Messenger of Allah divided moments between his companions; he would attend to this and attend to that equally. (Rawadah al kafi p.268) He also condemned ill nature; he repeatedly said; Ill nature is evil; and the worst of you are those who are ill-natured. (Nahj al fasahah p.371) And: O sons of Abdul Muttalib, surely you will not (be able to) satisfy people with your money, therefore meet them with cheerful faces and joyful conduct. (Wasa'il ash-shi'ah vol.2 p.222) Anas Ibn Malik, the Prophet's servant, used to say when he remembered his (the Prophet) excellent traits: I have served the Prophet for ten year; during this time he has never said 'woe' (as if complaining) to me, regardless of what I did or did not do. (Fada'il al-khamsah vol.1 p. 119) Furthermore, good conduct and cheerfulness are factors which prolong life. Imam Sadiq (A.S) said in this regard: Kindness and good manners make land flourish and prolong lives. (wasa'il ash-shi'ah vol.2 p.221) Dr. Sanderson has written this on the subject: Kindness is an important factor in treating and preventing illness. Most medications result in unwanted side-effects along with a temporary cure, while kindness causes everlasting cures to all parts of the body... kindness moves all powers of the body. Blood circulation in those who enjoy good manners is excellent, and their breathing is better... (pirozi fikr) There is a beautiful point in Imam Sadiq's statement. He (A.S) says there is a direct relationship between kindness and good manners and stated that they are among the factors which prolong life. The reason behind this is that kind people enjoy a sense of happiness and satisfaction, thus, both kindness and good manners have the same desired effects. Imam Sadiq (a.s) also considered these traits elements for achieving happiness when he said: "Part of man's happiness his good manners" (mustadrak al-wasa'il vol.2 p.83) Samuel Smiles added on the same topic: Good manners and emotional balance have their effect on man's develop and happiness just like other power and instincts do. As a matter of fact, individual's happiness is greatly related to their affections and good manners.(Akhlaq) In addition, good manners make life easier and increase subsistence and harmony. Imam Ali (a.s) said: Good manners bestow subsistence lavishly and make friends (more) intimate. (Gurar al Hikam p.279) S. Marden wrote the following in his book: I know a restaurant manager who became very wealthy and popular because of his good conduct. I learned that travelers and tourists traveled long distances to reach his restaurant, they did so because in this restaurant they liked the privacy and the pleasant at atmosphere. When the customer are at the restaurant, the said manager cheerfully greets them in a manner that is not duplicated anywhere. In fact, in this restaurant they do not experience the cold nuisance complaints that you find in other restaurant. In this restaurant the employers try to shows affection and build friendly relationship with the customers, instead of the usual seller-buyer relationship. the employees smile a lot and give special attention to serving their customers, this attention stems from love and affection for their guests the employees establish such relationship with their guests that the guests not only feel that they should come back but also bring their friends. It is clear how effective this method is in attracting new customers. HE ADDED: "Good manners have not played a move important role throughout history then at this time. they have become the capital of those who whish to bring happiness and success to their lives". (Khishtam Sazi). Imam Sadiq (a.s) included cheerfulness among the signs of man's ability to reason. He said: "Those who have the most perfect reasoning among people are those who have the best manners. (wasa'il ash-shiah v.2,p.201) Samuel Smiles says: History shows us that the greatest geniuses sere happy and optimistic men, for they realized the real meaning of life and tried to manifest their reason in their flesh. When one reflects on their achievements, he can clearly notice their healthy souls and thinking and their kindness and enthusiasm. The greatest souls and most intelligent people all enjoy cheerful faces and happiness. Their manners were example for those who adhered to them and were influenced by their conduct, hence they followed the light of their kindness and natural happiness. The Honorable Messenger (s.a.w) said: The most important traits which will lead my nation to Paradise are fear of Allah and good manners, (wasa'il ash shi'ah vol.2 p.221) Consequently, it is incumbent upon him whose leader is reason and who desires to lead an honorable life to achieve this priceless spiritual capital, good manner. In order to eradicate an unwanted characteristic, man needs earnest desire to reach his goal. A glance at the disadvantages that bad manners leave provides an incentive to lead him into struggling to eradicate such manner. |
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