Have You Ever Wondered
What They Write
About You ?

The following was taken from actual employee evaluations:

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and
shows signs of starting to dig.

2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid
curiosity.

3. I would not allow this man to breed.

4. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
definitely won't be.

5. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

6. When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change
whichever foot was previously in there.

7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

8. This man has delusions of adequacy.

9. He sets low personal standards and the consistently fails to
achieve them.

10. This employee should go far -- the sooner he starts, the better.

11. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

12. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

13.  Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking.

14. A room temperature I.Q.

15. Got a full six-pack, but is missing the plastic thingy that holds
it together.

16. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

17. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

18. A prime candidate for natural deselection.

19. Bright as Alaska in December.

20. One-celled organisms outscore him in I.Q. tests.

21. Donated his brain to science before he was quite finished
using it.

22. Fell out of his family tree.

23. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the trains isn't
coming.

24. This man has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking
for it.

25. He's so dense,light bends around him.

26. If brains were taxed, he would get a rebate.

27. Any dumber and he would have to be watered twice a week.

28. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you would get change
back.

29. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

30. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

31. One neuron short of a synapse.

32. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he gargled.

33. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.

34. Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

Now for Some Real Wacky~ But True Jobs
{ lol ~ better hurry to grab these up }

Ant Catcher

Digs up live ants for use in plastic ant farms.

Egg Breaker

Separates yolk and whites of eggs for use in food products. Pours contents of broken eggs into an egg separating device.
{I have a few kids who would be very good at this job~}

Flush Tester

Tests channels of toilet bowls by flushing rags down the channels..
{OMG can you imagine looking in the john all day }

Lump Inspector
Inspects lumps of tobacco for defects in wrapper leaf and repairs  tears and holes  with glue and leaves.
{ and I thought they only sniffed glue }

Pillowcase Turner
Tends machine that turns pillowcases right side out and stretches material to remove wrinkles.
{ someone ought to tell them~ that all they need are fat pillows...to get the wrinkles out }

Sniffer

Sniff's peoples body parts to test the effectiveness
of foot and arm deodorants.
{ I wonder how much they get paid~ LoL }

Weed Farmer
Grows weeds for sale to universities and chemical companies to be used in herbicide research.
{ Nuts~ and all this time I could of been rich }

Worm Picker

Gathers worms to be used as fish bait.

gee whiz
all the time you thought you had a great job...
Funny  But 'True'