The Redneck
Easter Dinner

The Eddikit Way To
Entertain In Your Home

Make sure your guests feel at home.
Let them adjust the rabbit ears
on the TV, and make the dog
give up the couch.
Take the trash out a couple of days
before guests arrive. It is difficult
to be witty when your nose burns.
Do not continue ironing after
guests arrive.
Be careful about serving left-overs.
A good rule of the thumb is,
"If the dogs won't eat it, company
probably won't either.
If you have anything stuck in your
teeth, do not take them out at
the table.
And if a guest is dominating the
conversation, refrain from saying,
"how  'bout putting some teeth in
that hole."
A centerpiece for the table should
never be anything prepared by
a taxidermist.
Cover those nasty burn holes
in the carpet with strategically
placed old newspapers.
Livestock should not be at the table.
Once the food is served, try to avoid
telling any stories about car wrecks,
operations, or sick pets.
Nothing ruins a good meal quicker
than someone getting sick or
sentimental at the table.
It is considered bad manners to
ask another at the table if they are
gonna eat all their food and if not,
take it off their plate.
Remember to remain seated
if you feel gas coming on.
If the wine taste bad, do not spit
it out and yell, "Somebody forgot
to wash their feet before they stomped
the grapes !"
Do not pluck unwanted nose
hairs during dinner.
Do not brag about the "roadkill"
you found for dinner.
Do not use your pocket knife as a toothpick.
If your guests overstay their welcome,
it may be necessary to give them
hints that it's time to leave.
I  suggest  a gentle reminder such as,
"Ya'll are either going to have to
leave or chip in on the rent."
Happy Dining...