The Moment
we part
I begin
to anticpate the next time
we'll be
together...
laughing
and sharing.
Each hour,each
day
seems like
forever.
The in-betweens
of our
togetherness
become
harder to bear,
as my love
for you
grows stronger.
~Margaret O'Reilly-Lahda
When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly
the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is
even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us
demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of
relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its
ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on
duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in
love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the
dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the
same pattern.
The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in
demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a
relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor
forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the
present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must
be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and
now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the
sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.
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