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 Just Take 
        One Day At a Time
  
 Hi, My name is
        Barb.  It's really Barbara,  but my Mother only called me that
        when she
 was mad at me.  I would like to
        tell you
 a little about myself and maybe
 I could help just one other person.
  
 It all started five
        years ago this coming October,  I had a life just like everyone
        else.  I drove a car,
 loved to go shopping, played with my
        Grandkids,
 took them out to eat, had lots of
        friends and
 neighbors and they were all
        very
 friendly and talked to me.
  
 One day I was
        having trouble seeing so  I thought that my glasses needed to
        be changed.
 Well I went to my family eye Doctor
 and he was not very happy with
        what
 he saw.  He sent me to another
 eye Doctor they ran a bunch of tests
        on my eyes,
 put drops in them and did everything
        except take
 them out!  This Dr. told me that
        he wanted another
 Doctor to see me.  Well let me tell you
 by then I was sick of the whole thing and very scared.
 But my loving husband of 32 years
        told
 me to stay cool and they would find
        out what
 was wrong.  So that is what I did.
  
 We made an
        appointment with this new Doctor  and I went to him within a
        week.  He did a lot
 of tests and told us that he would
        call us within
 the next two days.  The morning
        of the second
 day, I was home alone and the phone
        rang,
 it was my Doctor.  The news was
        not very
 good,he told me that I had Retinitis
        Pigmentosa,
 that is where the retina dies and it
        doesn't
 send the message to the brain. 
        So there
 for you do not know what you are
        looking at.
 After he explained that
 to me, he told me that I would have a
        year to
 eighteen months with sight. 
        Nothing that he said
 meant anything to me.  I just
        didn't believe him.
 Well my husband called him back and
        confirmed
 every thing that he had said to me.
  
 I really didn't
        have much time to think about it My eyes were getting bad and I just
        wanted
 to see my kids and Grandkids as much
        as possible.
  
 I lost all of my
        eye sight within five months.  By December of that year I could see very little and
 I was too scared to do
        anything.
 All I did was sit in one spot and cry.
 My husband tried and three
 of my four kids tried to help me but
        I didn't
 want any help.  All I wanted to do was die.
  
 I stayed that way
        until April 19th, and my husband Chuck had enough I wouldn't
        do anything
 for myself and I even thought of
        suicide but I knew
 deep down that wasn't the
        answer.
 So Chuck took me to the commission
        for
 the blind in Kalamazoo,
        Michigan.
 I was one unhappy camper,
 I let the whole world know that I
        didn't want to be there.
  
 Well to make a long
        story short, I stayed there for twenty-six weeks, learned how to use a cane and 
        most of all how to take care of
        myself without
 depending on other people all the
        time.  I did
 very well, I learned to walk by
        myself and
 to cross roads alone.  I was
        told that I was one of
 the best students they had in a long
        time.
 So the day I was to come home I was
        really
 excited and couldn't wait to get
        back.
  
 That was the
        hardest thing.  I don't know if my neighbors are afraid of me or if they just don't
 know what to say.   But now
        very few
 talk to me.  They will ask Chuck
        how
 I am and I'll bright there.
 Or they just talk to him.
 It still hurts when this happens but
        life is
 too short to worry about it any
        more.
 If they can't accept me for the way I
        am,
 then I guess I don't need to talk to
        them.
 A few of them are talking to
        me,
 but not very many.
  
 I guess the part I
        don't understand is, I'm the same person that I was before I lost
        my sight.
 The only difference is now I can't
        see.
 I guess really it's their loss,
        because I haven't
 changed,if anything I have
 become a better person.
  
 I'm trying very
        hard to be a more patient person, but I have alot of work to do on
        that.
 My family has never given up on me
        once,
 throughout this whole thing.  I
        am very
 grateful to all of them for making me
        do the
 things that I did not want to do but
        I did,
 and now I am a much happier
        person.
 Before I go any further, I would
        like
 to thank some very loving
        people
 who got me through this
 
   Chuck, my
        husband, Larry, my oldest son, Zachary, my five year old
        Grandson,
 Barbi, my youngest daughter
        and a very
 caring one, without her it would have
 been very hard,  Andy, my nine year old
        Grandson,
 that is very special to me, 
          Jessica, my only
        Granddaughter
 who is six and my little
        helper.   Dan,
        my youngest son and is very
 special to Chuck and I.  This
        has been   the
        hardest on him,
 he is 16, Kim my oldest
        daughter,  wherever you
        are,
 Dad and I love you and maybe you will even see this on the Internet.
  
 There is one more
        girl that I would like to thank, her name is Mudgie.  A
        lot of you
 wouldn't understand but Mudgie is the
        most
 loving girl you could ever
        want.  She
 accepts me for who I am, when
 I make a mistake or have
 a bad day, she is always there. 
        She is
 my best friend.  Mudgie is my
        guide dog.
 After I finished school, I flew down
        to
 Columbus Ohio   to Pilot Dog School and got her,
 she is the  best thing
        that has happened to me in four years.
  
 I love to walk with
        her and we do alot of walking  and I do alot with my computer. 
        I have  tried
 to find some one else that is blind
        that I could
 talk to but so far no one.
 Maybe this web page will help.
  
 I do every day
        things the same way that you all  do only it takes me longer to do
        it.  The only thing
 that I tell people who come in my
        house is,
 don't move anything.  I know
        where everything
 is and want to keep it that
        way.  My family had
 a hard time with that one, but they
        finally
 caught on after four years.
  
 I have always told
        myself, I could either sit and do nothing or I could try and
        make myself
 a new life.  It's really not a
        new life, just different.
  
 My last thought for
        you is, be kind to others,  you never know what is going to
        happen to you.
 God Bless, Barb
  
 This Snowglobe was
        made especially for me to give to my wonderful
        friends...
 Please accept it from Me &
        Mudgie...
  
  
  
 Please click on the
        "Heart Bear" and go visit this wonderful place
 made just for children that
 are suffering from serious
        illness's.....
 See how you can help...:)
  
 
  NEW!!! A Page about me
        & my Computer  
  
 Please visit my
        true little Angel  Click on the Stars...
  
 Please take time to
        read  "Pauls Story"
  
   Please Click on
        "Mudgie" My best friend..to read her story
  
  
 A new page made by
        a special friend Star Ducki....Please visit....
 Click on icon below
  
 Click below for
        some wonderful stories about our Canine companions...
  
  
 A new story about
        training guide dogs in Prison  Click on Icon
 
 
  NEW!!!!! A Poem Please Read
 "When you look through your
        eyes....."
 This is how I feel inside
  
   Keep this candle burning
 for all the children who have died
        before us....
 Please follow the
        candle link to find out how you can take part in this
        vigil...
 
 
 This site is a
        proud member of The
        Blind Ring.  Follow this link to join the ring.
        Also, from this page, you may:
  
 For More
        Information The International Retinitis
        Pigmentosa Association
 Click  Below
   
 I love getting e-mail & would be so happy
 If you would sign my guestbook
         
   
    
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