Nancy's Nightly Newsletter  #4

"Well, friends here I am again, after I sent ''THE TURKEY'' letter out many of you responded with amusing stories about Thanksgivings past.  I throughly enjoyed all of your responses, but one in particular was so comical, it reminded me of an incident in my life that made the world stand still for a full 30 seconds.

"Briefly, the story that reminded me about the incident that I am going to share with you was about a 4 year old who had learned to read and asked about the napkins she saw stored in the bathroom and her mother explained that they were ''special occasion'' napkins and the subject was left there. Then a few months later when she was asked to set the Thanksgiving table while her parents went to pick up the pastor and his wife, you guessed it, she used the ''special occasion'' napkins at each plate with the fork carefully arranged on to and even the little tails tucked in so they didn't hang off the edge. When her parents and the pastor and his wife returned you can all guess and laughter that ensued and of course this has become one of those 'Remember the time.......' kind of stories.

"I have to share this one with you and you need to bear in mind this happened when I was about 11 years old and 45 years ago while I was living in the ''Leave it to Beaver'' era of my life.

"My mother had always told me to ask her any questions about anything regardless of the subject matter and she would answer all my questions about life. Now bearing in mind in the early 50's, questions about life were really just plain never asked or explained. No open talk about sex, reproduction, body functions or any of that.

"So here we are at the Sunday dinner table with the roast beef, mashed potatoes,and whole nine yards of after church dinner and on this particular occasion my father's mother was eating dinner with us and then we would take her back to her home later in the day. So around this idyllic dinner table sat my father still in suit and tie, my two teenage brothers in their Sunday finest, my mother in her Sunday finest neatly covered with an apron, my grandmother in her traditional Sunday navy dress and ugly tied black shoes with the then defined fat high heels that meant you were over 60 because nobody in their right mind would have worn them on purpose unless you were old, and last but not least of course there was me in my Sunday dress.

"Well, everything was going along just as usual at dinner when it crossed my mind about something I had been seeing written on the bathroom walls of our school at the time and I didn't know what the word meant. So amidst the mashed potatoes and gravy, as promised by my mother I asked, ''What does F--K mean?'' I kid you not for a full 30 seconds, the world stood still and marked that instant in my mind forever. My father choked on whatever it was he had in his mouth at the time, my oldest brother sprayed a mouthful of milk all over the table, my other brother just stared at me in total disbelief that I could have asked such a question, my grandmother started fanning herself with the ever present lace edged hanky that seemed to always be just peeking out of the top of her bosom and my mother,  well... let's just say she had a look of horror on her face as though I had just committed murder at the very least. She was furious that I would ask such a question in the first place, forgetting that she had been the one to encourage just this kind of questioning, she was embarrassed beyond anything words could define at having this question asked in front of not only the immediate family but in front of my grandmother as well, and she was totally caught off guard by it and had no idea what in the world to say, do or think by this question.. As I said, this scene is forever emblazoned in my memory, but the actions taken after that 30 seconds that the world stood still was in retrospect even funnier than the question.

"My mother grabbed me out of my chair by my arm, whisked me off to my bedroom, forced me to sit on the edge of my bed which was absolutely not allowed to be done under any circumstances thus far in my life. Beds were for sleeping upon and nothing else... period end of subject. Any offenders of this rule in our household were definitely in for a severe tongue
lashing at the very least. So I knew I was either in for the worst spanking of my life or I had crossed over some invisible line into another era of my life or something.  But in just a moment she came back into my room handed me a booklet and a ''special occasion napkin'' and a ''special occasion belt'' and told me to stay in my room and read the booklet and never NEVER ask a question like that again.  So I proceeded to read Ann Lander's pamphlet for young girls coming into the full bloom of womanhood and didn't understand very much of what she was talking about because the wording was so evasive and the pictures were like nothing I had ever seen in my life. And to top it all off, that ''word'' I had asked about was not even mentioned in this booklet so I just stayed in my room, reading this silly pamphlet about my personal ''budding'' into adult life and had no clue as to what any of it was all about.

"But out of that incident I did learn to never under circumstances ask my mother about anything I saw written on restroom walls and it was several years later after pretending to know exactly what the word meant at slumber parties and various other places I heard the word used by my peers, that I did finally learn the real definition of the word.

"As I look back at that incident, I realize that probably most of my friends who would occasionally use the word had no more idea what it meant at the time than I did because some of the situations in which they used it were bizarre to say the least.

"So your ''special occasion'' napkins once again reminded me of the differences of how I grew up in an age of total innocence as compared to today where it's all out there to learn and see from birth on.  I am at this point in life convinced neither way is right and surely there is some type of a happy medium in there somewhere that we just haven't found yet.

"So on that  note I will again extend a thanks for each and every one of you special people who allow me to share my life with yours and brighten my computer screne with your words and pictures.

"Thanksgiving hugs to each and all of you,
Nancy"