Why should I, who never did neglect my grief,

Who began this journey so resolutely,

Determined to accept each step and see it through,

Find myself beginning on this path again

As if from the very start of it ?

Did I not face this tragedy straight on,

And look death in the face and feel its touch?

Do I not understand that each soul, soon or late,

Returns to God? Why then, in a sudden unexpected moment

Does the shock of this death confront me,

As if I had never known of it at all?

Why do I, who was recipient of such love,

Of caring and compassion that abound-

Who was encompassed in the arms of family and friends,

And know that my loss is shared by many,

Feel such an individual grief?

And why do I, who let my tears flow free,

Who felt them wash upon my heart, my mind, my soul,

Who has screamed the scream of primal desperation

And, through blurred eyes, has set my gaze upon the present,

Find that in some unsuspected moment,

Tears rage and gush, as if I'd never cried?

Because I am the Mother of a child who died.