Everything we take for granted is for him a living hell,
It's easy to think he's retarded and doesn't really understand,
He left our home and moved away when he was only six.
Written by Mona Fields "Rainmama" for Matthew on November 13, 1999.
He can't really help it, he was born like that.
His lips are forever sealed by some invisible hand
His thoughts and dreams remain forever unknown to me or any man
But when we get to Heaven, and Lord I hope it's soon!
We will talk FOREVER and sing the heavenly tunes.
I can't wait to know him and what it was like to him,
to be stuck on this planet with the syndrome AUTISM.
The sound of a siren or a classroom bell...
hurts him like an icepick being thrust through his brain,
and he has to stand there helpless forever to remain.
MUTE!, unable to speak or express one single need,
If he ever wanted anything, I never heard his plead.
The monsters come to get him when he should be asleep.
He never "Laid me down to sleep..."or "my soul to keep."
And his mama, dear mama, is supposed to make it quit,
But I never knew what to do or what might have caused this fit.
Jesus, I feel sorry to think what it's like for him,
To be stuck on this planet with the syndrome AUTISM.
What's going on around him, Be Careful to hold his hand!
But sometimes I wonder, and really I'm not so sure...
what lies behind his crystal eyes and presence so demure.
When he turns his face to heaven and laughs a belly laugh,
Does he really know it all, and the rest of us only half?
I don't suppose I'll ever be content as long as I live.
I won't ever think I did enough or had enough to give.
It makes me sick to wonder how it is for him,
To be stuck on this planet with the syndrome AUTISM.
I had run out of hope, had lost my bag of tricks.
I left him in the hands I prayed that God would guide.
And I left something else...the part of me that died.
My precious little baby, so beautifully and wonderfully created...
was taken away from me because autism had him fated.
And I wonder if he ever thinks about me as his mother,
and if misses his sister and his brother?
Does he wonder why we left him and why they didn't stay?
Does he wonder why he ended up this way?
Lord, I can't imagine what it's like for him,
To be stuck on this planet with the syndrome AUTISM.