Last updated 7:30 a.m. ET on 10 February 1999.

Is a Seder an Adult Event or a Kid Event?

Many Jews of my generation have memories of seders in which the Zayde (grandfather) sat at one end of an enormous table reading (muttering) in Hebrew or Yiddish, the next-generation adults sat around reading in English or just shmoozing until it was time to eat, and the kids were bored out of their gourds if they could be persuaded to stay at the table for any length of time. The vast majority of these sedarim ended with the meal.

As a consequence, an entire generation or two of Jews grew up without having discussed the themes of slavery and freedom, without realizing that a seder could last longer than 20 minutes or that it could be be rich and meaningful experience. The seder became just another family event that had to be endured, not much different from Thanksgiving dinner, except that you had to listen to Zayde, there were no football games to watch on TV, and there was this strange flat stuff on the table instead of rolls.

The Case for Child-Oriented Seders

Sedarim should be geared toward children so that they will be excited about Pesach and about being Jewish. There are many wonderful songs and stories to be sung and told. The Exodus story has drama and excitement - not to mention frogs! We need to make times like these, when extended families are often reunited, times that are fun and meaningful to children. If our children are not turned on by this important Jewish event with all it has to offer, they may never be turned on to Judaism as they grow older.

The Case for Adult-Oriented Seders

Sedarim should be geared toward adults because Pesach commemorates such a pivotal event in Jewish history, and Judaism is basically a religion for adults. Children shouldn't be ignored or shunted to one side, but rather encouraged to contribute as appropriate, to ask questions and listen to the answers (or to find their own answers through study), and to see the adult discussion as a desirable thing to strive toward. Kids are always trying to be more grown-up than their years, what better time and place for them to emulate the adults in their lives?

What do YOU Think?

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1) How old are you?
Under 13 years old
Between 13 and 22 years old
Between 23 and 30 years old
Between 31 and 40 years old
Between 41 and 50 years old
Between 51 and 65 years old
More than 65 years old
2) To what age group do you think a seder should be geared?
Preschoolers
School-age children
Adults
I don't know

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