Computer Teminology

• 486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

• State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.

• Obsolete - Any computer you own.

• Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

• G3 - Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."

• Syntax Error - Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."

• Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.

  GUI - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey")

  Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.

  Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

  Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

  Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

  Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

  Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

  System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

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