HOME COOKING

RECIPE FOR CHERUB COOKIES sent in by CRAFTYLADY
1 small chid
5 or 6 years of tender loving
1/2 lb. of patience
care
4 drops of safety rules
3 heaping measures of good manners
10 sticky fingers
A generous pinch of humor

If dough is wiggly, add a few extra hugs until desired consistency is obtained. Allow to stand 5 or 10 minutes for proper discipline. Place in desired world with interest and pride. Set goals at a degree that will give a child a feeling of accomplishment. Will produce adorable, enthusiastic, capable children.

CAUTION: Will crumble easily -- must reassure often.



HOW TO BAKE A CAKE sent in by MOMMYLADY
Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients.
Remove blocks and toy autos from table.
Grease pan, crack nuts.
Measure two cups flour;
Remove baby's hands from flour, wash flour off baby.
Remeasure flour.
Put flour, baking powder, salt in sifter.
Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl baby knocked on floor.
Get another bowl.
Answer doorbell.
Return to kitchen.
Remove baby's hands from bowl.
Wash baby.
Answer phone.
Return.
Remove 1/4 inch salt from greased pan.
Look for baby.
Grease another pan.
Answer telephone.
Return to kitchen and find baby.
Remove baby's hands from bowl.
Take up greased pan, find layer of nutshells in it.
Head for baby, who flees, knocking bowl off table.
Wash kitchen floor, table, wall, dishes.
Call baker.
Lie down.



BEST EVER CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKE sent in by MOMMYLADY

1 c. water
1 c. white sugar
1 c. brown sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 40 oz. bottle whiskey
4 lg. eggs
2 c. dried fruit
Juice of 1 lemon
1 tsp. baking soda

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to make sure it is the HIGHEST quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of sugar in a fluffy bowl.
Add sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK.
Cry another tup.. Hurn off the tixer.
Break two eggs and add to the bowl.
Chuck in the dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something... who cares !!
Check the whiskey.
Now, sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one tablespoon of sugar or whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn on the cake to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out the window.
Check the whiskey again and go to bed.

Merry Xmas !




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