The month of Ocotber was an especially difficult month for me. Although everyday since my daughter, Lauren, was murdered has been a difficult one, the month of October had some very rough days. It marked the six month passing of the date of Lauren's murder. The local domestic violence "Safe House" also asked me to participate in several projects they planned and sponsored. Several of my close friends told me that I shouldn't try to participate, because it was too soon. However, I felt like I had to participate, in Lauren's memory. I have made a promise to Lauren, and to myself, to do anything that I can to help stop domestic violence, so that some other young woman might be spared the violent death that Lauren suffered.

October has been designated as a national awareness month for Domestic Violence, with many activities sponsored on both the local and the national levels. On the local level, many "Safe Houses" (places that offer refuge to victims of domestic violence) sponsored a project called "The Clothesline Project". The very first Clothesline Project was a thirty-one shirt display, hung in Hyannis, MA, in 1990. Since that date, more than 500 clothesline projects have emerged in the U.S. and abroad, resulting in the display of more than 350,000 shirts. In April of 1995, a national display of the Clothesline Project was included as part of the National Organization for Women's Rally for Women's Lives. In that project, over 6,000 shirts were displayed on the National Mall in Washington, D.C.

The Clothesline Project is a visual display that bears graphic witness to the acts of violence committed against women. Shirts are used as canvases for heartfelt expressions which depict the pain and horror of abuse and violence experienced by women and girls. Each shirt is decorated to represent one woman's experiences, and is designed by the woman herself, or someone who cares about her. On a personal level, the Clothesline Project offers survivors an outlet to express their pain, and can be a part of their healing process. As a public display, the Clothesline Project documents the brutality and tragedy of violence against women, and attempts to raise society's awareness of the issue and the extent of the problem.

Although each shirt displayed in a Clothesline Project is unique, a common color coding system is generally used to represent different crimes of violence. This color code was established by the creators of the Clothesline Project. The colors are:
White - for the women who have died as a result of violence;
Yellow or Beige - for women who have been assaulted;
Red, Pink or Orange - for women who have been raped or sexually assaulted;
Blue or Green - for women who are survivors of incest or child sexual abuse; and
Purple or Lavender - for women who were targets of homophobic violence.

***The information about the Clothesline Project in this article was adapted from a brochure furnished by the Safe House in Sebring, Florida. ***

My firstborn child, Lauren, celebrated her 22nd birthday on February 17, 1999. She is the reason I'm writing this column. Lauren was violently murdered by her husband on April 13, 1999. If you would like to know more about my beloved Lauren, you can visit the memorial web site I've made for her by clicking on the button below:

Click on the oval above, to read Lauren's story.

If you know anyone who is in a relationship involving Domestic Violence, please urge them to get out of that situation as quickly as they can. There are safe houses -- places of refuge -- in most communities across the United States. listing agencies offering help for victims of readily available, you can call the 1-800-799-7233 These hotlines are open 24 hours a day, and are staffed by trained volunteers who can tell you where to go for help.