Guilt often follows closely on the heels of our grief. We are consumed with all the what ifs, whys, and if onlys. As we try to find a way to justify the death of our loved ones, we look for a way to place the blame on something or someone. When all else falls short, we tend to carry the extra burden ourselves.

While I believe guilt is common when we lose someone we love, it should begin to subside within a reasonable time. If not, I have learned that we cannot allow the guilt or grief to cause destructive patterns in our life. If you or someone you love are consumed with guilt and grief and notice any of the warning signs below, please seek help now. Don't wait for the feelings to pass.

• 1. Prolonged loss of appetite or difficulty sleeping
• 2. Misuse or abuse of drugs
• 3. Excessive use of alcoholic substances
• 4. Severe depression
• 5. Lack of interest in every day affairs; inability to concentrate; difficulty remembering things
• 6. Loss of interest in appearance or personal hygiene

Treatments are available to help us cope. Don't be ashamed to seek help from your physician. A compassionate, responsible and reputable physician will not scoff at prolonged effects of grief, guilt and depression. They will be happy to discuss the options available to you. If your physician will not, find another physician. Many treatment programs include doctor prescribed medications as well as counseling. The longer you delay, the more complex the problems become and the more difficult they are to treat. Grief is not just an emotion. It can adversely impact your physical and mental health.

With Love, Judy
Grief Recovery Online - A Common Bond Beyond the Pain