If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from
       the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
    If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
  If you work too hard, there is never any time 
for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
      If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
     If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off  your ass and find something better.
 If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. 
If she gets a  job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
  If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. 
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
  If you cry, you're a wimp.
       If you don't, you're an insensitive clod.
    If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
    If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
        If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
    If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.
   If you don't, you're a fag.
    If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape you're sexist.
  If you don't, you're unromantic
  If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.
     If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
      If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
   If you're proud of your achievements, 
you're up on yourself.
     If you don't, you're not ambitious.
     If you're totally beat after a hard day's work, you don't care about other people's needs.
  If she has a headache, she's tired.
    If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
    If you want it too often, you're oversexed.
      If you don't, there must be someone else. You Just Can't Win