Words
That
Don't Exist
But Should.......

Aquadextrous  { ak wa deks' trus }
Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap
on and off with your toes.
 

Carperpetuation { kar'pur pet u a shun }
The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then put it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

 
 
 

Disconfect  { dis kon fekt' }
The art of picking up the baby's' pacifier,
putting it in your mouth to wash off the germs.
 
 

Telecrastination  { tel e kras tin ay' shun }
The art of letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
 
 

Lactomangulation  { lak' to man gyu lay' shun }
Manhandling the "open here " spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal" side.
 
 

Peppier  { peph ee ay' }
The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.
 
 

Pupkus  { pup 'kus }
The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses it's nose to it.
 

Elvisitis  {el vi sy tis }
The art of reporting your latest sitings of Elvis to the national Enquirer
 
 

Lawnmowitis { laun'mo eye tis }
The art of hiding from your wife when the grass needs cutting.
 

Secret taste tester {finger lickin' good}
The mysterious missing frosting on one side of the cake.
 
 

Unvanishable  { un van ish a bull }
That nasty bug you try to flush down the toilet, but it won't go down.
 
 

Computeritis  { com poot er eye tis }
When your favorite stars are on the backgrounds and your favorite channel  is ICQ
 
 

ChooChooitis  { chew chew eye tis}
Ever notice that when you are in a hurry the train is always very, very long , and slow.
 
 

Equalritis  {e kwal' eye tis }
Ever notice that more places are accommodating
rights of non smokers  ~ more than smokers ?
 
 

Nightdripper  { nite drip 'er }
Ever notice that you only hear the faucet drip while you are trying to sleep.
 

Fastmail  { phast~male}
The letter you are waiting for always gets to you overnight......
 

Lovebonics  { luv bon'icks }
When she doesn't have a headache,
he's no where to be found...