The Definition of the
Problem.
The Problem With Sexual Abuse
THE PROBLEM OF SEXUAL ABUSE
It is important to understand the nature of sexual abuse. For healing to take place, there needs to be understanding not only of the original offense, but of the ongoing damage that such abuse does to both offenders and victims.
The Definition of the
Problem.
Sexual abuse involves any contact or interaction whereby a vulnerable person is used for the sexual stimulation of an older, stronger, or more influential person.
Sexual abuse is much broader than forced, unforced, or simulated intercourse. It includes any touching, rubbing, or patting that is meant to arouse sexual pleasure in the offender. It may also involve visual, verbal, or psychological interaction where there is no physical contact.
Visual sexual abuse may involve exposing a victim to pornography or to any other sexually provocative scene.
Verbal sexual abuse involves an attempt to seduce or shame a child by the use of sexual or suggestive words.
Psychological sexual abuse includes interactions where a child is regularly used to play the role of an adult spouse, confidant, or counselor. For example, a mother who tells her 12-year-old son her sexual frustrations with his father, and shares her deep thoughts and feelings with him in a way that invites him to a level of adult intimacy, has violated the young man's sexual identity.
The Extent of the
Problem
Sexual abuse is a national plague. Research suggests that by the age of 18, 1 out of every 3 women will be victims of sexually abusive contact. If the definition of abuse is broadened to include abusive involvement, the statistics increase. For instance, just including victims of exhibitionism increases the ratio to 1 out of 2.
The figures for men are only beginning to surface. Men are even more reluctant than women to admit abuse. Like women, however, male victims are haunted by unjustified but disturbing questions about their own sexuality. At one time was suggested that only 2 percent of men were sexual-abuse victims. More recent studies indicate that the figure may be as high as 33 percent.
The Reasons for the
Present Problem
Histories now surfacing reveal a legacy of shame that is not new. In many cases, abusers were themselves victimized by parents or grandparents. Abuse has been silently passing from one generation to another as long as it could be kept a "family secret," and as long as social and religious pressures were strong enough to inhibit disclosure.
These patterns have been reinforced by the breakdown of the family, the spread of pornography, alcoholism, drug addiction, and the general decline of moral and spiritual courage. The current fascination with occult and satanic activity has also been identified as a contributing factor.
The Bible's Exposure
of the Problem
The biblical record of the rape of Tamar shows God's intention to make sexual abuse a subject for public discussion. When king David's son raped his half-sister, the act and its resulting turmoil became a part of Israel's public and religious record.
There is much to be seen in this incident. There is a lustful brother, a vulnerable sister, a passive parent, and the seduction of innocence. There is the consuming shame of the victim, the contempt of the offender, and the resulting violence of a family divided against itself.
Some would say that the turmoil wouldn't have occurred if Tamar had just kept quiet. That is not true! Tamar grieved openly because her brother had wronged her and because he would not accept responsibility for his sin. To have kept it a secret would have allowed Amnon's wickedness to go unchecked. It would have enabled him to do to others what he did to Tamar.
Because Amnon would not admit his wrong and seek forgiveness and restitution, family bitterness grew. Two years later, another of Tamar's brothers sought revenge. Absalom kill Amnon, throwing David's kingdom into chaos. One life-shaking quake of sexual abuse sent tidal waves into the souls of Tamar and into countless other lives.
The fact that God has included this even in the record of His Word helps us to see how important it is for us to open our eyes to the terrible damage of sexual abuse.