Things to think about:
7 days without prayer makes one weak. "Pray" is a four-letter word you can say anywhere - except in public Schools. Man's way leads to a hopeless end - God's way leads to an endless hope. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone. To be almost saved is to be totally lost. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma - but never let him be the period. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period. God grades on the cross, not the curve. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a facelift. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty. God doesn't want shares of your life - He wants a controlling interest. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church. We don't change God's message - His message changes us. The church is prayer conditioned. When God ordains, He sustains. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning. Plan ahead - It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position. Suffering with truth decay? Brush up on your Bible. Exercise daily - walk with the Lord. Coincidences happen when God chooses to remain anonymous. Wisdom has two parts - 1) having a lot to say 2) not saying it. Never give the devil a ride - he will always want to drive. A clean conscience makes a soft pillow. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back. He who angers you controls you. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler. Forbidden fruits create many jams. Be ye fishers of men - you catch them & He'll clean them. Deciding not to choose Jesus is still making a choice. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. If God is your co-pilot - swap seats.
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were
on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be
quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because
people are sleeping."
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A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with
fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then
something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and looked
at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been
pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the
boy called out. "What have you got there,dear?" his mother
asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he
answered, "It's Adam's suit!!"
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The pastor was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he
preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike
cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in
the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After
several circles and jerks,a little girl in the third pew leaned
toward her mother and whispered,"If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
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Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were
sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out
loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not
supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop
me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and
said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you
know how you and God are alike? "I mentally polished my halo
while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he
replied.
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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter the Lord's
Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after
me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I
listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right
up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation,"
she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."
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A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down
the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd.
While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and
roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way
down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears
from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The
little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from
all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached
the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and
said, "I was being the Ring Bear."
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One Sunday a young child was "acting up" during the morning
worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense
of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the
father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the
aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the
foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray
for me! Pray for me!"
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And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us
our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our
baskets."
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One student's prayer:
"Now I lay me down to rest,
And hope to pass tomorrow's test.
If I should die before I wake,
That's one less test I'll have to take."
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A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a
better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time
like I am."
There was a group of scientists and they were all sitting around discussing which one of them was going to go to God and tell Him that they didn't need him anymore. Finally, one of the scientists volunteered and went to go tell God he was no longer needed...
So the scientist says to God : "God, you know, a bunch of us have been thinking and I've come to tell you that we really don't need you anymore. I mean, we've been coming up with great theories and ideas, we've cloned sheep, and we're on the verge of cloning humans. So as you can see, we really don't need you."
God nods understandingly and says: " I see. Well, no hard feelings. But before you go let's have a contest. What d'ya think?"
The scientist says: "Sure I'm all for it. What kind of contest?"
God: " A man-making contest."
The scientist: "Sure! No problem" The scientist bends down and picks up a handful of dirt and says: "Okay, I'm ready!"
And God says: "No, no. You go get your own dirt."
Ft. Lauderdale advertising agency launched a billboard campaign (including the inside and outside of buses) that included 17 different messages from God. This non-denominational campaign started in September sponsored by an anonymous client. 1. "Let's Meet At My House Sunday Before the Game " - God 2. "C'mon Over And Bring The Kids " - God 3. "What Part of "Thou Shalt Not..." Didn't You Understand?" - God 4. "We Need To Talk" - God 5. "Keep Using My Name in Vain And I'll Make Rush Hour Longer"- God 6. "Loved The Wedding, Invite Me To The Marriage" - God 7. "That "Love Thy Neighbor" Thing, I Meant It." - God 8. "I Love You...I Love You...I Love You..." - God 9. "Will The Road You're On Get You To My Place?" - God 10. "Follow Me." - God 11. "Big Bang Theory, You've Got To Be Kidding." - God 12. "My Way Is The Highway." - God 13. "Need Directions?" - God 14. "You Think It's Hot Here?" - God 15. "Tell The Kids I Love Them." - God 16. "Need a Marriage Counselor? I'm Available." - God 17. "Have You Read My #1 Best Seller? There Will Be A Test." - God
To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, we are going to have a special "NO EXCUSE SUNDAY."
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"