Birth Family Results Beginning Stages of Searching 89 - I hoped that my child or birthrelative was raised in a happy family 3 - I hoped that my child or birthrelative was raised in the religion that I requested 32 - I hoped that we would be able to forge a new family, including adopted family and birthfamily 35 - I hoped that the reunion would facilitate healing for everyone 19 - I wanted to give my birthrelative his medical and family history 14 - I didn't do the searching, so not applicable 1 - I hope that my child is still alive so I can find him 2 - I hope that putting my child up for adoption was the right action to take 2 - I hoped that my child would want a reunion 1 - Want to let him know he has always been loved & wanted 1 - Did not know I had had a child Expectations 82 - I expect a close and happy relationship 41 - I expect that my child had the life I was promised he would have 3 - I expect anger 32 - I expect closure 7 - I expect that I will never find my child 2 - I didn't do the searching, so not applicable 13 - I had no expectations 1 - I expect to be like a mother to my child 6 - I hope my child would want me to be a part of her life but will not accept what my child wants 1 - Truth and forgiveness 1 - I expect that we will forge a new relationship from the heart 2 - Want to know about his life and tell him all his birth information 1 - Wants happy reunion 1 - Confusion Results Between Day One and Beginning of First Year 77 - I have not had a reunion yet 33 - Reunion exceeded my greatest expectations 15 - Taking it slow and easy 3 - Child was raised in religion, economic status and loving home that I requested 2 - Child was raised in totally different home then requested 5 - Found lots of anger 1 - Child was raised in broken home 29 - Found many similarities in the way we look and act 6 - Very polite and non confrontational 1 - Wrote regularly, consider good relationship 1 - Happy and healing time 2 - I found out my child had died 1 - My child was told by adoptive parents to reject me, and he did 1 - In talking and sharing stage. Have not had physical reunion yet 2 - Child not interested in meeting me at this time 1 - My child died before we had a chance to meet 1 - Found out my child had been placed in abusive family 1 - Found one sibling. Getting along well Results Between Year One and Year Two 114 - Been reunited less than a year 35 - Getting better all of the time, with more communication and contact 11 - We see, talk, or write less than before, but are still friends 8 - Little or no contact at all 4 - Been a very harrowing experience, and one I don't want to go through again Results From Year Three And On 144 - Been reunited less than 3 years 17 - Getting better all of the time, with more communication and contact 7 - We see, talk, or write less than before, but are still friends 7 - Little or no contact at all 2 - Been a very harrowing experience, and one I don't want to go through again 1 - Am researching the civil and human rights abuses in the adoption and foster care system 1 - My child took her own life after ten years of reunion Back to SOAR Handbook